People Who Always Brag About Being Busier Than You Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
HI_Pictures | ShutterstockWe all have that one friend that has to make their crammed schedule everyone else's problem. Even when the conversation doesn't regard their personal events, they're constantly being brought up to remind you how busy they are (and by comparison, how not busy youare).
There's a new term for these phrases: busy brags. If you're like so many millennials and Gen Zers, this first started appearing in your workplace when you were minding your own business, and now the trend is everywhere.
It likely feels like your friends have started competing for who is the busiest. Unfortunately, this is not healthy and not a good mindset to promote. So, when you meet a busy-bragger, be ready to hear a few of these busy brags, and remember not to buy into this culture!
People who 'busy brag' often say these eight things in casual conversation:
1. 'There's a lot going on at work right now'
This ironic thing about phrase is that it's commonly delivered within the work environment, where one might assume everyone to be equally busy. If you hear it, you're probably confused. After all, you're from the same company or have similar roles, but they somehow manage to make it known that they've been assigned more responsibilities than you.
The brag becomes particularly frustrating when they don't seem stressed at all or if they're trying to get you to do more work. Often. they're just telling you this to demonstrate their level of power.
Outside of the workplace, this is may used as a covert way of putting those from different socioeconomic backgrounds in their place, so to speak. As if their work is more important than anyone else's.
No matter who they're saying it to, if it reads as disingenuous, it's probably more of a busy brag than reality.
2. 'I just never have a second for myself'
While this may be said while looking for sympathy or validation, it's probably not very true. The thing about busy-braggers is that they crave the rush of always having something to do, or just appearing like they do. They likely have chunks of time within their schedule that they could block out for hobbies or a night out, but it's instead filled by a second job or volunteering.
Rather than removing factors from the equation, they continue to pile onto their plate. Continuing this habit will lead to a quick burnout; the best way to recharge yourself after an eventful week is by taking some time alone. Your social and mental battery can only take so much before entering that red area.
3. 'My weekend is way too booked up right now'
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There's nothing crummier than when you're already feeling pretty lonely, and your friend has plenty of events to attend. To make matters worse, they can't stop mentioning how packed their Saturday will be, while yours is going to look like making that long-awaited grocery trip and talking a solo run.
Busy-braggers are entirely aware of this social faux pas, they just don't care. They feed off of others viewing them as part of the in-crowd, which in their books is defined by bridal showers and baseball games. Making you feel like you're lame in comparison is just a way of boosting their own egos.
4. 'I'll see if I have time'
This phrase can make any social interaction feel like a business interaction, like we should be calling their assistant to set up an appointment with a good friend or family member. That's probably why it feels more like a busy brag than an actual part of conversation.
The worst part is, it makes you feel like they probably do have time, but probably won't make it for you.
When someone's comfortable with bragging about their personal life that much, they're most likely egotistical, and that leaves little room to prioritize your friendship.
When you're in your twenties, these individuals are also the type to pop into a party for half an hour, then making a scene that they have to go to some discreet next outing. These busy-braggers always seem to be loudly saying, "OMG I can only stay a few minutes but wanted to say hiiiiiii!"
They often don't even stay only a few minutes, anyway. You can't help but wonder if there ever was that other thing they had to go to.
5. 'My brain is so scattered'
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This most likely comes from a need to feel superior. There are so many devices available to help sort out our minds, including the tried-and-true notebook, and yet they'd rather live in chaos. That way, people will be impressed when they rattle off the list of things they have to do from memory.
They often feel like that chaotic, busy person looks cool and important. But most of their true friends see right through it.
6. 'Aren't you bored?'
Even if you're feeling excited to sit at home and not speak to a single soul for twenty-four hours except your dog, they'll make you feel bad about it. For some reason, they feel a need to make you feel bad for not constantly being out.
Some of us prefer a more quiet life when we get the time to ourselves. But since busy-braggers thrive on the validation of a social life, they think they need to program you to feel that way too. Doing nothing is a luxury for some people. But, for busy brags, it means you're the high school cliche that you're a loser.
This constant need to compete over the quantity of social and work events mirrors the popularity contest of school. The person with the most extracurriculars, AP classes, parties, and a job was considered the coolest. Busy-braggers are still figuring out how to let go of the mindset of caring about what others think.
7. 'I just can't sit still'
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Some people really do need to be constantly up and moving, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe they have ADHD or cope with stress by moving. Maybe they're just in the habit.
However, when you're trying to have a relaxing conversation or night with them, and they start cleaning something that could've waited another day, it becomes frustrating because now it's your problem, too. You don't want to be a bad friend and let them do all of the work, but your body is telling you that it's exhausted.
One of the best ways to minimize this busy behavior is by inviting them out to dinner, preferably technology-free. When devices are stowed away in your bags, it'll limit distractions and program your friend's brain to be more present. Stepping outside of their houses is often what's best for them, so try to relocate to a spot that's either mess or child-free.
If they do seem to be able to chill, they may only be saying this to look busier than they are.
8. 'I'm so busy I've barely been able to sleep'
In the context of our hustle culture and side-gig economy, too many of us fall victim to playing the game of "Who slept less last night?". For busy-braggers, it's always a competition, because the lack of sleep usually means that they had something seemingly better to do.
Proving that they're cutting back on a necessity like food or sleep is a way of validating their busyness. They want to hear, "Wow, you really are busy!". Those words give them a sense of pride, as if the presence of a tight schedule is the key to adulting.
The real trick to being comfortable in adulthood, whether it's a new stage for you or not, is ignoring the excess noise of what others think you should be doing, and doing what's best for your life.
Feeling the need to brag about the lack of rest you get is an immature habit that's been programmed into our minds. Worse, it reinforces an exhausting and exploitative mindset that serves nobody except a very elite, wealthy few at the top of the corporate ladder.
Gabrielle Mattes is a writer working towards a Creative Writing degree. Her focus is lifestyle, wellness, human interest, and relationships.
