Gen-X Kids Had 12 Classic Summer Memories That Most People Today Will Never Get To Experience
Lyudmila2509 | ShutterstockSummer is here, and it’s time to have fun! School’s out, so let’s kick off the best time of the year, Gen-X style. Grab your bike, your boombox, and your bathing suit, and let’s go!
Gen-X kids had these classic summer memories that most people today will never get to experience:
1. Nair Hair Removal Cream
Before we even dare leave the house, we need to make sure our legs are super smooth, right, girls? And shaving is so dated, even with the new Flicker razor. Now it’s time for instant hair removal with Nair, that smooth cream you smear on your legs.
Smelling like a combination of sulfur and torture, nothing works better, or more painfully. Don’t leave it on too long, or you’ll experience an intense burning that will only be exacerbated by the chlorine from the pool. Mom always said, “Sometimes you have to suffer to look good.” She was right!
2. OP Ocean Pacific
I’m going to grab my OP long-sleeve shirt to put over my suit in case it gets cold when I get out of the pool. It’s cool because it says Ocean Pacific down the arms.
John has a pair of corduroy OP shorts, which are really short. Last week, he was sitting with his legs spread open, and one of his balls fell out! Fran and I laughed hysterically, and he didn’t know why. It’s our secret!
3. Leaded Gas
f.t.Photographer / Shutterstock
Robin said she’d drive us, so we don’t need to ride our bikes, but we have to give her $2 for gas. The car takes leaded gas, which smells REALLY strong. Sometimes I hang my head out the window and take a big sniff because it makes me feel funny. Sort of like when I get the gas at the dentist’s office.
4. Coppertone
When we get to the pool, we immediately find some chairs, take off our tops and shorts, and start putting on Coppertone suntan oil. Mom says we need it for protection, but I feel like all it’s doing is cooking me like a chicken. Even with the oil, I’ll get sunburned, but it smells sooooo good I don’t care.
5. Superelasticbubbleplastic
Before we get in the pool, we notice a kid blowing bubbles with Superelasticbubbleplastic. Lucky duck. My mom won’t let me get that because she said it’ll make me high. I don’t know what that means, but my friend Rose has some, and if you breathe it in, it gives you the same feeling you get when you smell gasoline.
6. Marco Polo
I hate this game! We got in the pool and were minding our own business when some dope suggested we play Marco Polo.
I don’t know why, but I can never find anyone when it’s my turn. I think the boys just like it so they can reach out and use it as an excuse to grab our chest. Susan likes it, but I think she wants her chest grabbed.
7. Arcades
After the pool, we walked next door to the arcade. I have $2 to spend in here, so I’m set; that’s eight plays! Fran and I are really good at a lot of games, Space Invaders, Asteroids, Defender, Galaga, and Centipede, but our favorite is Tempest.
The guys look at us like we’re crazy when we rest a quarter on that machine for the next play, but we are both awesome at it! There is a token machine at Six Flags that, if you hit it on the side, it sometimes drops extra tokens out.
8. Good Humor/Mr Softie
The Good Humor ice cream truck just rolled up, so we finished our games and ran outside to get in line. Rose likes Mr. Softie, but I prefer Good Humor. When our family goes to the beach, we sit on the breezeway waiting for the ice cream truck, and all the kids run out in their pajamas.
I like a chocolate eclair bar, but my mom and dad like toasted almond bars. If they have them, sometimes I get a sno-cone because it has a gumball at the bottom. Then I blow bubbles, which ticks off my dad. “Close your mouth so you’re not smacking that gum; you look like a cow!” That’s not very nice.
9. Unknown Adventures
Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash+
A friend from school’s mom gives us a ride home, and we immediately dump our stuff and grab our bikes. As soon as I hit the road, I start peddling like a maniac. My bike is new, so I’m showing off by riding with no hands.
We go to Jimmy’s house even though I’m not allowed there. We go inside and hang out for a few hours, listening to music, while the boys light cigarettes. We each take a puff but cough like old people. Jimmy takes us into his parents' room and shows us a shoebox in the closet that has needles in it.
I don’t know what they’re for, but I pretend it’s cool. Then we go to the creek and walk around getting covered in stickers. My mom will be upset because I’m not supposed to be at the creek either.
10. Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific
When I get home, I need to take a shower to wash the chlorine out of my hair. Fine by me, as I love our new shampoo.
After I get out, I walk around flipping my hair around, waiting for everyone to say “Gee, your hair smells terrific!” No one does. I wish my mom would splurge on Vidal Sassoon. Maybe someday.
11. Mix Tapes
After my shower, I go to my room, where I call Fran even though we just spent the day together. We are both trying to make tapes off the radio because we heard the DJ say he’s going to play Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield.
My parents still aren’t home, thank God. My mom always knocks on my door when I’m taping off the radio, and it’s so irritating! The song comes on, I hit “record and play” together and let it run, then just as it’s about to end, the DJ starts talking!
Ugh! What an idiot! I need to get my dad to take me to Kmart so I can just buy the album with my allowance. Rick Springfield is a fox, and I kiss my pillow and pretend it’s him. Sometimes when Fran spends the night, we call the local radio station to make requests. We’ve talked to Tom Joyner a bunch of times on K104. I bet he will be famous someday.
12. Tuesday night on ABC
My mom had to work a little late, so Daddy put Swanson’s dinners in the oven. I love the fried chicken! Then we watched all of my favorite shows together. Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Three’s Company, and Hart to Hart.
My friends and I always say to each other, “…because when they met, it was Moider!” Three’s Company is my fav because Jack Tripper is cute, especially when he acts like he’s gay. I’ve never seen a gay guy on TV before. It’s funny how he’s always trying to hide it from Mr. Roper. Robin’s gay, so I wonder what she thinks of this; maybe I’ll ask her tomorrow.
It’s time for bed, so I’m going to turn on the radio because I like to listen to music as I sleep. My favorite is on the weekend when I wake up to Casey Kasum's Top 40 countdown.
Maybe someday someone will write me a long-distance dedication. Maybe Rick Springfield.
Kristen Crisp is the founder of Not Even Wine With Dinner. A community/mission for those looking for peer support with sobriety, self-esteem, mental health, aging, and all the things that come with being human. She is also a frequent writer on Medium under the handle @notevenwinewithdinner.
