The Most Incredible Parents Often Did These 8 Old-Fashioned Things While Raising Their Kids
Fortgens Photography | ShutterstockGood, old-fashioned love keeps people together and makes us all feel safe, hopeful, and happy. We all gain from love, whether we give it or receive it, but kids especially. Sometimes, life gets hard, and we feel rushed. As parents, worry and anger consume us, and we begin to use up all of our emotional energy. As a result, we forget to let love fill our hearts and lives as it should.
Kids, however, need consistent reinforcement that they are loved. This doesn't always have to be done with words (though words are important, too); it can also be done with old-fashioned acts of love parents can use to make their kids feel secure and seen.
Here are the old-fashioned things incredible parents did while raising their kids:
1. They practice patience
Did anyone else get up at 4 a.m.? Or do you need to change the sheets in the middle of the night? When things like this happen, I can start to feel angry. I quickly forgive myself and my kids, move on, and accept the challenge.
As a result, I can parent with more love, patience, and joy, and I'm sure my kids will feel more loved because of it. When I start the day this way, I can receive and give love better.
"To be patient, parents must begin by learning about feelings, why they matter, and how to go about working through their feelings before they can help their children work through theirs," advised parenting coach Judith Pinto. "In the end, raising children to become emotionally intelligent adults who feel loved and know how to work through their feelings is the achievable outcome."
2. They eat dinner around a table
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I'm often guilty of giving my kids their plates at the table while I grab a quick bite in the kitchen. I rush back to do the dishes, prepare food for the next meal, or do some other odd job at the counter.
When I take the time to sit down with my kids and eat with them, I always, always enjoy the meal more. I know they also like it when we all eat together. It's a simple way to be there for them and show them I care enough to put everything else on hold, even if it's just for 10 minutes.
3. Incredible parents speak to their kids softly
Having a soft tone is about more than just our voices. It's also about how we move and how we look. Speaking to our kids in a soft voice makes a difference and helps them feel our love.
Family coach T-Ann Pierce expanded on that: "No matter how drained, frustrated, or flustered you feel, kind words are cheap and cheerful, and demonstrate safety. Kids who feel safe and valued thrive, make better choices, and enjoy a greater level of confidence. With one kind word, your relationship with your child expands and models that, no matter how exhausted someone feels, it is important to show appreciation. It models that, even if you’ve messed up, you're still lovable. It models that, even if the world is a scary place, your child is safe."
4. They get on the floor and laugh with their kids
So often, we can become like drill sergeants of the home. Do you seem to constantly give orders: "Eat your food, put on your shoes, and pick up your toys." I'm sure you have felt this way before.
Try making funny faces, telling jokes, playing games, or just laughing; your children just might respond to you very differently. It can be hard, especially if you're not used to that kind of humor and have many other things on your mind, but I know it's worth the effort. Laughter is an excellent way for love to flow.
5. They give their kids more attention than their phone
We don't always hear what our kids say because we're often preoccupied with something else and are not paying attention. Challenge yourself to listen more, listen better, and ask for clarity if you don't understand or hear something. Even in a hurry, take a moment, and turn around to face them, so they have your undivided attention. You are modeling an example that it's important to give someone your full attention, not half of it while you fiddle on your iPhone.
6. Incredible parents play pretend
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Now, I'm not saying that we should always play with our kids — in fact, some moms don't. And I don't even mean that it has to be all pretend play where you have to be a princess all the time (or, in my case, a Transformer). But having a race to the car, using your index finger as a little character to give directions, turning meal prep into a "Cooking Show," or turning instructions into a song can lighten the mood and bring some smiles.
Children love to play, and pediatric research from The American Academy of Pediatrics showed that when we play with them, we show them we care about who they are and what they like.
7. They create a secret handshake
High fives, quick shoulder rubs, hugs, and secret handshakes. Without saying it, these small actions show kids you care about them and are there for them.
8. They let their kids make mistakes
Let's not hold it against our kids when they trip, spill, knock things over, refuse to eat your home-cooked meals, hit, and do other things that kids do. Let's love them, show them how to do better next time, and give them a chance to make up for their mistake.
When we expect our kids to be perfect, we don't accept them for who they are, flaws and all. We should love ourselves and our children no matter what mistakes we make. The tone of our relationship, which we hope will be loved now and in the future, is set by how we react to mistakes or bad decisions.
"Of course, we hate to see our kids hurt, but discomfort leads to change. Their mistakes are simply steps along a learning curve they must navigate as they journey to adulthood. If we think of their (and our) flawed moments as learning moments, we'll feel a lot happier, and our kids will come out a lot healthier and more resilient," explained parenting coach Kathryn Brown Ramsperger.
Sidhharrth Kumaar is an astro-numerologist and the founder of NumroVani. He couples his knowledge of modern sciences to solve real-world problems in the areas of mental well-being and relationship growth.
