Mom Defends Teaching Her Kids That They Don’t Have To Share If They Don’t Feel Like It

Every parent has different ways of teaching their kids important life lessons and skills. Despite that, there are some fundamental rules that all children must learn, including respect and, of course, sharing. Right?

Mom Lottie Weaver takes a different approach. In fact, she actually encourages her kids not to share if they don't want to. She has no problem with them being stingy with their stuff when around other kids, which elicited a whole lot of backlash from other parents and even a few public school teachers.

A mom said she teaches her kids that they don't have to share if they don't feel like it.

"My kids don't have to share their toys or their snacks or literally any of their things with your kids. If we are out and about at the park, [or] I don't know, some communal play place, if my kids have a scooter toy, something [with] bubbles, they're not sharing with your kids," Weaver declared in a TikTok video.

She explained that she's teaching her kids not to share with other kids at all, and she proclaimed that she will "never, ever" make her kids share anything they bought. Listing off the reasons why, Weaver admonished parents for not bringing things for their own children to play with. Secondly, the toys her kids bring are their own, so they don't have to share at all.

"You don't have to do something just because somebody asks. I think, especially for women, that is really important to learn for girls growing up. Just because someone says, 'Hey, can I have this?' Or, 'Hey, can I do this?' You don't have to say yes. They should have brought their own toys."

While it's important to teach young girls that they don't have to give anyone something if they don't want to, that's not quite the same as teaching kids to share. Young girls can be taught the importance of sharing while also learning that there are some things that never need to be given to others if they don't feel comfortable with it.

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Weaver admitted that she has no issue if her kids want to share with other kids of their own free will.

She insisted that she won't discourage her kids from sharing if it's something they want to do, but she just won't tell them they have to. However, the second a child doesn't give back their things, Weaver claimed that she would march right over and demand the toy from the other kid herself.

"Now, if you're coming over to our house to play for a playdate, that's very different, right? Because we're welcoming them then into our space. Okay, but if we are out and about and we don't know each other very well. Even if we do know each other very well, if my kid doesn't want to share her doll with your kid, she doesn't have to."

In the comments section, parents were a bit taken aback by Weaver's insistence on never teaching her kids the importance of sharing. Even a few public school educators chimed in, pointing out that sharing is considered the "backbone" of learning and that it's disappointing that Weaver's kids are missing out on something as vital as that.

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Sharing is considered a fundamental aspect of human connection that kids need to learn.

There's a difference between forcing a child to share and teaching them not to be selfish. Kids who are forced to share can grow resentful, but that doesn't mean it isn't an important lesson. According to child psychiatry expert Kyle Pruett, parents should be modeling the importance of sharing for their kids to see.

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"Watching us share regularly with our partners and friends helps a lot, whether it’s a sandwich, housework, bathroom time, or childcare. Narrating sharing moments that they see in their families and neighborhoods helps them get the point that it feels good to be on both sides of this sharing thing; making someone happy simply feels great."

Experts have long explained that sharing helps kids and even encourages cooperation, strengthening their social ties and promoting well-being. If kids aren't learning to share when they are young, they'll end up becoming adults who struggle with relationships and collaboration.

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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.