Parents Make Daughter Go To Summer School After Her Cat Passes Away Because 'In The Real World You Still Have To Go To Work & School'
Pixel-Shot | ShutterstockAfter a grief-stricken teenager asked her parents if she could take the day off school to deal with her emotions, her request was declined.
According to her parents, they are trying to prepare their daughter for the “real world” where people are expected to return to work and school despite personal tragedies. However, other people believe that the real world also allows us the time and space to process grief, even if it means pausing our work.
The teenager wanted to take a day off from summer school after her family cat passed away.
Sharing the story on Reddit, the girl’s mother explained that her 17-year-old daughter was enrolled in summer school after falling behind during the year because she was suffering from long COVID. Sadly, during one summer weekend, the family cat passed away due to a heart condition, leaving the teenager devastated.
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“She was grief-stricken, as we all were,” her mother wrote. However, when the girl asked if she could take a day off from summer school to deal with her grief, her parents told her no.
“She’s almost an adult, and in the real world barring serious illnesses you still have to go work (in her case school) even when life gets hard,” the woman explained. “We too are grief-stricken but are still going to work.”
The mom said that she and her husband are trying to prepare their daughter for the 'real world.'
Many critics disagreed with the parents’ decision, noting that grief was part of the real-world experience and that most employers understand that. “I know plenty of people who have used personal days when their pets have passed away. That's why you have personal and sick days,” one user shared.
“Believe it or not, even [in] the real world we take days off whenever we're sick or going through a loss of any sort. Have some compassion,” another person wrote.
“I am 35 and I just took a day off work because my cat died. The real world doesn't always work the way you think it does,” another revealed. “She's a child and she's heartbroken and all you've done is make her feel worse.”
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The thing that's important to remember is that these parents aren't trying to be cruel to their daughter by forcing her back to class. They legitimately think they are helping her by practicing a bit of tough love.
Grief expert Phyllis R. Silverman, Ph.D., shared that the teenagers she's worked with have taught her that when it comes to loss, what these adolescents need is support. She explained, "They need their parent's attention; to know that he or she is there to take care of them, and they also need to hear that these are difficult times, but together they will learn, and they will go on."
She added, "They need to know that it is okay to show their feelings if they want to, and to talk ... but they also need to know that there is no given time within which they must do this." That's perhaps what's missing from the real-world lesson these parents are trying to impart on their daughter. Regardless of what happens in the outside world, they need to instill in their daughter that grief has no timeline and school and work will and should take a backseat to those emotions.
Suppressing grief for the sake of attending work or school is unhealthy and negatively affects one’s physical and mental well-being.
“Suppressing your emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, grief, or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body,” provisional clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt told Health Agenda. “The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs.”
Additionally, not allowing yourself time to process grief can also lead to issues with “memory, aggression, anxiety, and depression.”
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Grieving the loss of a pet is a natural and necessary process for many people, much like grieving the loss of a human loved one. It is an emotional life event, as your pet most likely played a significant part in your life. It is healthy to take a few days off from work and school as you navigate the loss.
If the teenager’s parents want to teach her about living in the real world, they can start by helping her understand her emotions and allowing her the time off that she needs to acknowledge her beloved late cat.
Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
