Exceptionally Smart Women Look For 11 Traits In A Man That Most Others Ignore
vectorfusionart / ShutterstockWhat do you look for when dating? For some, looks are the most important. However, exceptionally smart women know that there is more to someone's surface-level attraction.
Most women ignore certain traits when looking for a man, not realizing that doing so means they might be missing out on finding a truly special guy. When physical attraction is the most important aspect in question, some women are selling themselves short. Traits like emotional intelligence and open-mindedness can make someone a better partner. You may be able to connect with them on a deeper level. But smart women see the good in men with kind, authentic traits and deliberately seek out what others may overlook.
Exceptionally smart women look for 11 traits in a man that most others ignore
1. Emotional intelligence
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Emotional intelligence is one of the best traits you can have. While it makes you a well-rounded person, it is especially helpful in relationships. People who are in tune with their feelings can better explain them. They may form healthier and stronger relationships because they speak from the heart. Smart women know this is an important trait to look for in a partner.
While others may be drawn more to superficial qualities, finding a partner who can connect on an emotional level may be more important. This type of woman may turn down a man who looks great, but doesn’t have his emotional health in check.
2. Resilience
Life is going to throw us curveballs. We can’t always prepare for them. Whether it’s losing a job or struggling financially, these major life moments can take us to a dark place. What matters most is how we respond to those moments. Smart women know that finding a man who is resilient and able to bounce back when life gets them down is key. While this may be a trait most ignore, it’s one of great value.
We need to be adaptable. Often, that’s easier said than done. When a man is naturally resilient, they don’t stay down for too long. This can make them excellent partners.
3. Integrity
We’ve all heard people talk about a standup guy. This is someone who stays true to themselves. They are consistent in their behavior, which is often driven by their personal ethics. These are the types of men you can trust. It’s called integrity. Smart women know that this personality trait goes a long way. It’s especially true if they are looking to settle down with someone.
Integrity isn’t something everyone has. Some men aren’t sure of themselves. As a result, they may not make great partners. If their behavior is less than impressive, they aren’t worth your time.
4. Authenticity
Authentic people are magnetic. When a man knows who he is and is proud of it, he will likely impress the women around him. However, not everyone prioritizes this trait. They may not care if their partner is wishy-washy, as long as they are getting what they want from him in other ways. Exceptionally smart women know to look for authenticity in the men they are dating. They don’t want to play games and want someone who is exactly who they say they are.
This type of man is self-aware. He knows himself and his emotions. He trusts his judgment. This makes him the perfect partner for a woman who has similar values.
5. Active listening skills
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We’ve all been there. We’re sharing our feelings with someone, and we can tell they’re not listening. Clearly, their minds have moved past whatever you were saying and onto something else completely. This is frustrating. It can show that they have no interest in the relationship. Exceptionally smart women will not settle for this behavior. While some people may be able to look past someone’s bad listening habits, she knows she deserves better.
Active listening is a trait we all should have. It allows us to connect with our partners. By letting them speak and acknowledging where they come from, it can help to smooth over conflict. Couples who listen to one another likely have a better understanding of their partners' wants and needs.
6. Open-mindedness
Some men are stuck inside their own heads. They believe that their way of thinking is the only correct one. Instead of putting in effort to understand where someone else is coming from, they may meet them with aggression or dismissal. To some women, this isn’t a deal breaker. They’re happy to go along with whatever their boyfriend wants them to do. Exceptionally smart women, however, look for open-mindedness over rigid thinking.
Open-minded people may be more accepting. They try not to judge people who aren’t like them. It can make them empathetic. Smart women know they’ll be able to have better, more open conversations with someone who looks to better understand the world around them.
7. Vulnerability
Men can struggle to be vulnerable. They are taught at a young age that emotions make them look weak. Instead of being in tune with their emotional health, they may avoid it at all costs. Sometimes, this can make them difficult to love. They won’t let you in, so you may feel like you never truly get to know them. This can be both heartbreaking and frustrating, which is why smart women avoid men like this like the plague.
Vulnerability is essential in a healthy relationship. Connecting over emotions is important. Smart women don’t have time for someone who isn’t ready to show their vulnerable side.
8. Clear communication
While listening is important, clearly communicating is also key to a happy relationship. I’ll be honest, I can be bad at this. It’s not always easy for me to share how I feel. This can be common, especially for men who struggle with vulnerability. While some people may be able to ignore poor communication, exceptionally smart women won’t stand for it.
Communicating isn’t always easy. For some, they can get caught up in playing the blame game or speaking over their partner in heated arguments. A man who can balance their emotions and clearly explain them makes for a great boyfriend.
9. Shared values
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At some point, we’ve all ended up with the wrong guy. When you first meet them, the vibe is good. You think they’re cute and you want to get to know them more. Suddenly, they open their mouths and say something you can’t believe. It may even go against everything you hold in your personal beliefs. While some may find this worth working around, smart women know there is no future when people are not on the same page. If their values don’t align, they move on to the next person.
Our values and beliefs shape who we are. We don’t want to be in a relationship with a man who goes against them. True compatibility happens at a deep level. It’s more than a surface-level attraction. Smart women refuse to waste their time with someone they won’t see eye-to-eye with in the long term.
10. Passion
I’m a passionate person. I care deeply about things like animals and certain political issues. These are things I hold close to me. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel that same passion. At the same time, I couldn’t be with a man who had no passions at all. Even if they aren’t the same as mine, I need the person I’m seeing to stand for something. It could be as silly as being dedicated to a certain author or film franchise. Something that they truly love.
Passionate men are not boring. Men who take a more relaxed view of life may not have the same burning passions as others. Instead, they may be hard to connect with, which smart women will choose to avoid at all costs.
11. Stability
Stability can mean everything in a relationship. You want someone that you can rely on. When they say they’ll always be there, you trust that they will be. This makes for a trusting and dependable partnership. Some women are fine with being taken advantage of by men who refuse to give them stability. They may string them along or only use them when it is convenient for them. They’re not willing to give them what they deserve.
Smart women don’t fall for this. They value stability over other traits. Feeling secure in a relationship is important, and these women know it.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
