11 Women Confess The Most Painful Lie They Ever Told Their Husband — And Why They’ll Take It To Their Grave
Andrii Iemelianenko | ShutterstockIronically, no matter how happily married a person is, if anyone ever tells you they’re 100 percent honest in their marriage, they’re 100 percent lying to you. Not all of us can be saints, and sometimes, things go more smoothly with a little blurriness on the details.
We asked wives to tell us the painful lies they've ever told their husbands, the ones they'll take to the grave, and while some are undeniable doozies, a few appear to be more common than we suspected. We’ll let you figure out which is which.
Here are the most painful lies 11 women have ever told their husbands, and why they’ll take it to their grave:
1. 'I was still with my ex when my husband and I started dating'
"I was hooking up with my ex occasionally the first year my husband and I were dating. We weren’t serious at first, and I was still getting over whatever with my ex, so I was ... multitasking?
I wasn’t cheating; we didn’t have a label, but he definitely didn’t think I was seeing anyone else, and I wasn’t technically, just being intimate with someone else. I know, it's bad. However, there’s no need for my husband to ever know about it because it all worked out once I cut the ex loose and we got serious."
2. 'I sold my engagement ring for cash'
Andres Molina / Unsplash
"I told him I lost my engagement ring, but I didn’t. I had just lost my job and had to make a credit card payment on a card he didn’t know about, so I sold it."
3. 'I got an abortion'
"I didn’t tell my husband that I had an abortion a couple of years ago."
4. 'I had a bad hangover'
"Well, my ex thought that I was 'sick' a lot when I was really just drunk or hungover, which, in retrospect, was an issue all on its own."
5. 'I knew his best friend was cheating on his wife'
"Not sure this counts as lies wives tell their husbands, but I knew that my husband’s lifelong best friend was cheating on his wife for about two years and never told anyone because he was hooking up with my best friend since college that whole time.
I kept thinking they were finally finished until it blew up on them, and I got caught in the crossfire because I'd known and never tried to intervene on anyone's behalf. It was a mess and a compelling argument for never making any new friends again!"
6. 'I knew he was seeing his ex behind my back'
Cihat Hidir / Unsplash+
"He thinks I don’t know that he texts like three other women, including his ex-wife, even though he’s 'never in the mood' when he’s at home. I have a feeling he’s been with at least his ex, but I’m not sure. But either way, I’m planning a really fun 'big reveal' moment when I tell him all about what I know and maybe bluff that I know more. It’s gonna be great."
7. 'There’s a very small chance that our daughter isn’t his'
"I got drunk and had a one-night stand after a fight we had shortly after our wedding, and I found out I was pregnant a month later. I don’t think either of us will ever know. I hope we never have a reason to find out."
8. 'I was having an affair'
"I had a very casual affair for a really long time at the end of my first marriage. To this day, I still don’t know if my ex ever knew or if he just chose not to see it."
Psychotherapist Esther Perel explained that affairs live in a space within a relationship where one or both partners refuse to acknowledge what's actually happening. "Understanding is not justifying and not condemning doesn't mean condoning," she cautioned.
9. 'I wasn't taking my birth control'
Miriam Alonso / Pexels
"Our third child was conceived during a brief time when he thought I was taking my birth control."
10. 'I never put him in my will'
"He’s not in my will, which isn’t that uncommon when you’ve had children together; however, my sister is."
"Financial secrets have similar consequences in a marriage as romantic ones. The betrayal and broken trust are very similar. It's a slow process for the couple to recreate trust and honesty," explained psychotherapist Dr. Tina B. Tessina.
11. 'I was married before him'
"He doesn't know. It was just for a year with my high school boyfriend when we were 18, and it was stupid and embarrassing, so I don't tell many people, actually. But I specifically swore my family to secrecy just for my husband. So far, so good."
Liz Pardue-Schultz is a writer and mental health advocate based in North Carolina who writes about relationships and mental health. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post, Time, and Thought Catalog.
