Newlywed Couple Lets Family 'Battle It Out' To Decide Whose Last Name They Take
PeopleImages | ShutterstockA decision that often carries a lot of weight for couples getting married is the taking of a new last name. Traditionally, women just take their husband's last name, but times are changing, and marrying a man no longer means simply adopting his identity.
One newlywed couple decided to do things a bit differently. In fact, they wanted to include both sides of their families to make this decision for them. When the time came for reception fun after the wedding ceremony was over, Brett Borland and Gorgie Abela challenged their family to a "Battle of the Surname," letting their loved ones decide whose last name would define the couple.
Newlyweds let family 'battle it out' to decide whose last name they take.
"What we’ve decided is that neither one of our names is going to disappear," Borland announced to both sides of the family. "So what we’re going to do is that we’ve organized some games where we’re going to battle the families out against each other, and the winning family, we will be taking the last name of them."
If Abela's family won, that would be the last name she and Borland would take. But if Borland's family won, then Abela would promptly change her last name to match his and his family's. In the video posted to TikTok, the families participated in various games, including tug-of-war, potato-sack races, and even a less-intense game of soccer.
However, by the end of all the activities, the scorekeeper announced which family came out on top. It seemed the couple's new last name would be Mr. and Mrs. Borland. In the comments section, people absolutely loved that Abela and Borland had chosen a fun, exciting take on whose last name they would adopt. It made the joining more equal and less traditional.
Younger, more educated women are less likely to want to take their husband's last name.
A survey from the Pew Research Center asked more than 2,400 married people and 955 people who have never been married about their views on changing their names after marriage. Men largely kept their last names at 92%, while 5% changed their last names, and less than 1% hyphenated their names with their partner’s last name.
Women who are not married were significantly less likely to report plans to take their partner’s last name. Only 33% said they would, whereas 23% said they would keep their own last name, 17% would hyphenate both, and 24% were not sure.
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"These gender norms, which give more power and privilege to males than females, are so interwoven into our society that it’s not surprising to me that men wouldn’t think about giving up their last name," explained Ronald Levant, professor emeritus at the University of Akron.
Adopting a last name that isn't the one you were born with is an important decision, but Abela and Borland choosing to leave it up to both their families showed neither one of them was too caught up in the tradition and pressure of it all. It showed that each partner held equal value.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
