People Who Share Deep Love For Each Other Usually Have These 11 Rare Traits
Gabriel Sepúlveda | UnsplashIf you want to know how to find a partnership where two people share a deep love for each other, take this relationship advice seriously: you need to watch out for signs of poor emotional, mental, and physical health in your partner. To do this, you need to be grounded in your body to pay attention to your intuition.
You need an open heart to know your emotions; they reveal much wisdom to you. You need a quiet mind so you can see the potential "red flags" that help you to discern if this is the right person. A good relationship where the love is deep consists of many qualities. But, for you to recognize these qualities, you need to be open and healthy yourself.
People who share a deep love for each other often have these traits:
1. They have good emotional health
If you are going to share a deep love, you both need to be physically, emotionally, and mentally fit. None of us are perfect. But we need to at least be aware of our weaknesses and show a commitment to personal growth. How are you both at taking care of your physical needs? Do you eat well? Do you get enough sleep? Are you able to forgive yourself when you make a mistake? How are you at taking care of your emotional needs? How are you at taking care of your mental needs?
2. They are self-aware
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Most people you meet today are not self-aware. Being self-aware means that you are aware of how your behavior is impacting the people around you. How do you become self-aware? You become self-aware by learning to live in the moment. You are not worrying about the past or future. You are fully present in your body, noticing the wisdom that comes from the sensations of your body, the emotions of your heart, and the knowledge that comes from the universe through your mind.
When you are self-aware, you are operating from your true self and not from the limitations of your ego. Everything goes more smoothly when you work out of this deep level. People get to see the beautiful, real you.
3. People who share deep love for each other are kind & understanding
A little understanding will go a long way toward enhancing the deep love in your relationship. Love brings out the best in each other, but compassion is all about treating each other with respect, love, and gentleness. Understanding makes everything in a relationship go better. With a little kindness, it becomes easier to resolve any conflict that will come up. Research has even suggested that the breakdown of kindness is often what causes many relationships to deteriorate and allow petty grievances to grow.
4. They communicate well
Your ability to communicate can make all the difference in a deeply loving relationship. To have excellent communication, you first need to be a good listener. You need to make sure you are accurately hearing what your partner is saying.
So, it is often helpful to paraphrase what your partner told you to make sure that you understood. When you are the speaker, you need to be as transparent as possible in what you say. At all times, use the "I" statement to take one hundred percent responsibility for what you said. You not only communicate with your words but also with your body language, tone of voice, and words. The tone of voice and body language are even more important than words.
When there is a misunderstanding, you need to take time to resolve the conflict. Ignoring it and hoping it will go away never works. If there is a lot of tension at the moment, you might want to set another time to talk when you are both feeling calmer.
5. They are empathetic
Empathy is crucial to a relationship with deep love. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When you have empathy, you are both able to understand each other much better. You are better able to support the one you love because you have a better understanding of what your partner is going through. Empathy helps to build intimacy because it helps each of you to feel completely loved by the other. You feel loved because you feel understood and entirely accepted by the other.
6. People like this stay curious about each other
When you are curious about your partner's behavior, you are more likely to communicate with him or her constructively. For example, if your partner seems remote and distant, your curiosity will lead you to ask open-ended questions to find out what is going on.
If you respond angrily, you will close the communication, causing the conflict to go on for much longer than needed. When partners show genuine curiosity, it leads to reciprocal self-disclosure, where both parties share more deeply about themselves. This give-and-take creates a positive feedback loop that fosters intimacy and makes both partners feel deeply seen and loved.
7. They are honest and trustworthy
Honesty is essential in any relationship, but especially one where there's deep love. You need reliability to trust. Your body language and tone of voice will give you away if you are not honest. For example, if you don’t want to do something, be honest about it. The worst thing you can do is go and be miserable. If you are having a rough day, be honest so your partner can support you. Yelling at your partner that 'you are fine' will only make things worse.
8. They have mutual respect for each other
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What is mutuality? Mutuality is all about taking both of your needs into account. It is about sharing chores. It is about sharing your resources in ways that, in the end, will benefit you both. Relationships will always need "give and take". There may be times when one is giving more on one thing in the relationship and less of another — this is normal and fine if it balances out over time. Whatever decisions you make need to be entirely accepted by both of you without any coercion.
9. Deeply loving people are in it for the long haul
You need the involvement of both of you to make the relationship work. For example, if you choose to commit to a long-term relationship, whether or not you get formally married, you both need to be clear about what you are promising to each other. Here are some questions you might want to ask yourselves:
- Are you committing to a lifelong relationship?
- Are you committing to share your financial resources, and how are you going to do it?
- Are you committing to bringing out the best in each other?
- Are you committing to work through conflict when it arises?
- Are you committing to raising children together if they come?
- Are you both committed to taking 100 percent responsibility for your actions and behavior?
Commitment means that you are taking seriously your responsibility to do your part to make the relationship work. One study found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed together reported being happy five years later. Their commitment to fix things, rather than giving up at the first sign of trouble, was the key to longevity.
10. They're forgiving
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. Forgiving yourself is even harder. You are going to hurt the one you love. Most often, it is not intentional. When there is discord, it is essential to learn to forgive yourself and the person who upset you. Forgiveness takes time. The person you feel hurt by likely never intended to hurt you.
When you realize that you did something wrong, you need to respond. Besides asking for forgiveness, you need to learn from your mistake, so you do not repeat it. If you are seriously hurt, you may find it helpful to seek professional help to see if it is possible to work through the conflict or if you need to end the relationship.
11. They are grateful
Practicing radical gratitude changes the way you see the world. Over time, it can become easy to take your partner for granted. When you both practice showing appreciation for each other every day, it helps to keep your relationship strong and healthy. When you stay thankful for your partner, you are less likely to keep your eye open for someone better. You are more likely to put most of your energy into keeping your relationship healthy.
When you have all these rare traits, you increase the chances of having a healthy intimate relationship. Intimacy requires one hundred percent trust. When you are at your best, you are able to communicate with the person you love through an intimate spiritual connection; this is intimacy at its best.
Healthy relationships don’t just magically happen. You need to strengthen all these components that make up a good relationship: health, self-awareness, kindness, communication, empathy, curiosity, mutuality, commitment, sharing, and forgiveness — all contributing to a relationship derived from deep love.
Roland Legge is an author, Certified Spiritual Life Coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
