Women Who've Already Given Every Last Drop Of Love & Energy They Have Usually Say 9 Phrases To Whoever Will Listen
Satrio Ramadhan from diversifylens via CanvaWomen are socialized into being constantly available for everyone, except themselves. Whether it's invisible labor at home or admin tasks at work, and even mediating conversations with friends, giving all their energy to so many things is exhausting.
In a million different ways, women give their love and energy to other people, and rarely have it invested back into themselves in relationships and alone time. While their struggle and exhaustion tend to be overlooked, much like their effort, women who have given their last drop of that love and energy usually say certain things to everyone in their vicinity.
When women have given every last drop of love and energy away, they say these things to whoever will listen
1. 'I don't know'
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When it comes to everyone else, women will figure out how to anticipate someone's needs and support them through it all. However, when they're asked to slow down and reflect on what they need, it's always "I don't know."
They've spent so much of their valuable time on everyone else that they have little to give back to themselves. It's not that we literally have a finite amount of these things, but when you overlook the energizing self-care and rest rituals you need to survive, they become harder and harder to invest.
2. 'You just don't understand'
Feeling misunderstood is a pastime for women who dedicate all their love and attention to everyone but themselves. They may be emotionally intelligent enough to show up for and tend to others, but at the end of the day, they lack the self-awareness to care for themselves. They don't know who they truly are, so it's impossible for other people to know them.
They lack the idleness and alone time they need to build trust with themselves. They don't know how to express emotions because they've been socialized into suppression. They don't even know how to be themselves because everything they do is tailored to others.
3. 'I don't have enough time'
Women who are always stuck in survival mode, trying to provide for everyone else, constantly feel behind. They worry they're missing something or disappointing people, which results in frantic phrases like "I don't have enough time" that lead to pushing away the habits and routines that actually energize them.
They operate from a place of false urgency all the time, even when nobody is asking them for anything. At a certain point, it's clear they're so used to being needed that it feels impossible to slow down and care for themselves.
4. 'I'll be fine'
Even when they're not sure and completely burnt out, it's women who are devoted to giving to others who dismiss their own needs. "I'll be fine" and "don't worry about me" are used as tools to invalidate their own needs bubbling up as symptoms of exhaustion on the surface, likely to make life more comfortable for anyone in their vicinity.
Whether they're mothers, partners, full-time workers, or therapist friends, they take on the burdens of others and set their own needs aside. Even when all those suppressed emotions come to the surface, it feels impossible to let other people in to help.
5. 'I just need five minutes'
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When they really need someone to own up to their tasks and leave them be, exhausted women usually say "I just need five minutes." Even at their breaking point, they've been taught to make their needs smaller and protect the comfort of everyone around them.
They don't have the luxury of assertiveness, because instead of being praised for directness and confidence, as most men are, they're called bossy and annoying. They feel a pressure to shrink and be small, unless they're caring for someone else.
It's this forced, strange humility that usually only women feel in their daily lives, but comes at their expense every single time.
6. 'It's easier to do it myself'
Even when it takes all their energy and leaves them feeling entirely drained, so many women have made a ritual out of doing everything themselves. For some, this has transformed into a perfectionist identity, where they tie their worth into handling it all on their own without asking for help.
They prefer to believe that they're the only kind of person who can manage their workload, or they have to face the fact that they're burning themselves out for no reason.
7. 'Don't worry about me'
Dismissing their emotions and invalidating their needs are second nature to women socialized into giving for everyone else. Their needs come last, prompting phrases like "don't worry about me" constantly.
While there might be a more passive-aggressive tone when they're reaching their breaking point, it's still a phrase they rely on. They need to be needed by other people, not the other way around.
8. 'I'm surviving the day'
When you're living for other people, it's impossible not to live in survival mode. Your mood and sense of safety are entirely dependent on others. From being needed to caring about what someone thinks about them, women prone to giving away all their love and energy are constantly hypervigilant.
Their nervous systems can only handle this mode, because otherwise, they have to look inward and confront their lack of personal coping skills and mechanisms. They're always just trying to get through the hour, day, week, and month, instead of appreciating time in the present.
9. 'I'll eat later'
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Especially for women at home, who bear the burdens of household, childcare, and emotional labor, despite working and earning the same, if not more, than their male partners, exhaustion is common. They're so used to putting their own needs to the side and starting their next full-time job at home even after tiring jobs outside of the house.
They're the ones who are expected to drop everything and manage the home, even if it's a relatively unspoken role. Even when it comes to making dinner, they're always the last person to eat, usually with the leftovers that nobody else wanted. They're an afterthought.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
