9 Ways Women With Complex Minds Test Men Without Them Realizing It
AlexGulko / ShutterstockNew relationships can be stressful because you don't know who your partner is yet. As you get to know them better, you begin to see who they really are and if this is a relationship worth investing in.
It's not unusual for a man's behavior to change over time as he gets more comfortable with someone. He might act seem devoted and respectful at the beginning, and grow inconsistent and rude as more time passes. This can lead to heartbreak when you realize they aren't the kind of person you want to be, even though you felt so certain they were.
Women with complex minds are often able to avoid that kind of pain by testing a man in subtle ways as they get to know each other. In doing so, they avoid becoming overly invested in relationships with a toxic man. Of course, they don't let him know they're doing this, because they want to see how he reacts when he thinks no one is thinking critically about his actions.
Here are 9 ways women with complex minds test men without them realizing it
1. They banter to check his response to criticism
Playful banter can be a fun way to interact with a new partner. When a woman makes mildly pointed jokes, the way he responds says a lot about who he is in uncomfortable situations. If a man becomes angry when he is critiqued, women who think in a complex way know this is a red flag. If he gets angry and defensive, it might reveal he has poor conflict-resolution skills and lacks resilience. If he responds positively and laughs it off, it could show you he doesn't take himself too seriously.
However, sometimes these kinds of jokes might touch on something hurtful. If it does make him feel this way, he should respond by calmly asking if you could avoid a particular topic when you're joking around instead of getting mad.
2. They watch for his behavior in social situations
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Women with complex minds assess how a man acts when they're out socializing together. They see how he interacts with the people around him and analyze what that could mean about his personality.
Observing how he interacts with people he is comfortable with can show you how he might treat you later in the relationship. If he is critical of his friends, it might mean he will act this way once he becomes comfortable with you. And if he maintains lots of positive friendships, it can show you that he is loyal and appreciated.
Smart women also watch to see how he talks with other women who aren't his friends. If he is flirty with others, it might reveal he isn't likely to be a faithful partner. If he is respectful without being overly friendly, it could show you he is invested in you and will be trustworthy.
3. They ask him to plan a date
Women who think on a high level know how they should be treated. Besides making sure he acts respectfully towards her, they also test how thoughtful he is when is comes to romance. These women understand that if a man isn't trying to romance you at the beginning of a relationship, he might be even less romantic as they get comfortable with each other.
As relationships progress, they tend to becomeless focused on the purely romantic part of love. Established couples end up lying on the couch and ordering takeout instead of going out to dinner. When you're comfortable with your person, it can be nice to do mundane activities together, but this isn't all you and your partner should be doing.
A smart woman analyzes how a man acts on their first few dates. They see if he brings flowers or plans a fun date. If he does, it shows that he put effort into making her feel special. If he takes the time to schedule a reservation or make a plan for the night, it can be telling regarding how he will act later in the relationship.
4. They show him their vulnerable side
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Opening up can be hard for some people, especially men, but it is an important way to get to know your partner. Smart women can test a man by opening up about something small. They carefully observe how he responds and allow it to inform them about his personal qualities.
Positive reactions to vulnerabilities might reflect the man's empathy. It can show he cares enough to listen when someone is expressing something that brought them pain.
By opening up about something small, you can protect yourself from negative reactions to difficult times in the future. If he responds supportively and shows he was listening, it can help a woman feel secure opening up about deeper wounds.
5. They assess his interests and goals
First dates can be awkward. You don't always know what to say because you don't know enough about the person to ask personal questions about things happening in their life.
A woman can try to start a conversation by asking a broader question to hear more about their life. A smart woman might ask about the man's personal goals and where he sees himself in the next few years. How he responds to this can show how much he invests in his career or personal life. If he doesn't have much to say, it might reveal that he hasn't really given the whole thing much thought. This might mean he lives more in the smaller moments than thinks about the larger picture, which is good to know when assessing whether his values align with hers.
6. They talk about their exes
I always dread the ex-conversation. However, how a man talks about his exes can say a lot about him. If a man avoids discussing the women he's been with in the past, it might leave you wanting more information. This could also be an early example of his secretive behavior, suggesting he's hiding something that happened in past relationships.
Additionally, if he talks negatively about all of his exes, it can be a bad sign. Calling an ex crazy can say more about him than his past girlfriends. It shows you he might struggle to accept responsibility. Putting the blame entirely on one partner shows that he doesn't acknowledge his part in the relationship's ending.
If he fails to treat his exes with respect, he's not likely to treat you with respect either if the relationship ends.
7. They have deep conversations
This might not be a test that a smart woman means to put a man to. A man's ability to have deep conversations can be revealed simply by how a conversation goes.
Their conversations might start lightheartedly. Maybe she is the one to turn it into a deeper topic. Maybe he is the one to do so.
It doesn't always matter who started the conversation. Complex women look for a man's ability to retain a deep conversation. This could reveal whether he can have intellectual interactions. It could also show you how open-minded he is. If he is defensive about his ideas or disregards your thoughts, it might mean he is a close-minded.
8. They give subtle compliments
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This is another way a man can show his romantic side. However, it can reveal so much more than that. Smart women might judge how complimentary a man is. If a man gives excess compliments, it might make a smart woman nervous. It might make her question the authenticity of his words.
They also might test what kind of compliments he gives. Sometimes, a man can put too much emphasis on a woman's physical attraction over her mental capabilities or internal attributes. This can reveal he is interested in you for the wrong reasons and doesn't see who you truly are.
9. They observe how he handles boundaries
A man showing he respects your boundaries is a good sign in a relationship. By setting clear boundaries at the beginning of a relationship, men can demonstrate their ability to respect them. This shows that he acknowledges personal boundaries. If he respects your boundaries, this can also show that he listens to you and understands what you are telling him.
This also lets a man know that you won't put up with bad behavior, as setting boundaries relies on yourability to advocate for your needs and shut down situations that make you uncomfortable.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
