Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Very Different Ideas Of What Makes Someone Marriage Material
Impact Photography | ShutterstockWhat makes someone marriage material depends a lot on when and how they grew up. Gen Xers and baby boomers have very different ideas about what makes someone marriage material than Gen Z and millennials do.
Growing up and living in different versions of the same world changes what you prioritize, especially when it comes to a relationship that could become a lifelong commitment.
What different generations think actually makes someone marriage material:
Gen Z and millennials think marriage material is someone who respects their independence
Younger generations don't always see rigid timelines, traditional loyalty, or gender roles as marriage material. Young people typically aren't interested in putting traditional ideas of loyalty over personal well-being and happiness.
They're not afraid to walk away from relationships that aren't meant for them anymore or to invest in their personal well-being, even when they're in long-term relationships or marriages. They're more willing to put themselves first, set healthy boundaries, and leave relationships that no longer work for them, even if that goes against society's expectations.
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They're also less willing to adopt traditional gender norms in relationships where women have to carry the emotional labor, and men are forced to suppress emotions. They are much more flexible in general with social norms, and more likely to associate marriage material with someone who avoids the strict, rigid, traditional gender norms of their parents and grandparents.
Some completely reject the idea of marriage material, believing that finding their person isn't the sole goal of their lives. Young people want to be their own person and live fulfilling lives outside of their marriages and relationships.
Gen X and boomers often see marriage material as someone who's loyal and committed for life
Older generations often have a more traditional view of what makes someone marriage material. While young people prioritize flexibility in relationships and all aspects of their lives, older people often find comfort and meaning in stability and undeniable loyalty.
For many older adults, marriage material meant finding someone who shared their life timeline and was committed to building a life together, even through difficult times.
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Yes, loyalty looks wildly different to different generations, but the biggest difference between older and younger people is their definition of marriage and relationships. For young people, it's about adding value and meaning to an already fulfilling life, whereas for older people, many grew up with the belief that finding a soulmate or lifelong partner was a major milestone in life, especially for women.
In the end, marriage material depends on the person, not just their generation
Much like money habits, style, and family dynamics, ideas of marriage material are personal first. Yes, they often play into the social norms and stereotypes that specific generations grew up with and around, but they're also shaped by a person's unique upbringing in their household and the kinds of parents they had. It's not just Gen Zers compared to boomers, but people with unique traits and routines compared to others with equally variable experiences.
Like most things, you can make broad generalizations about generations, but they won't fit everyone. Marriage and relationships are a great example of that, and an especially personal and emotional part of life.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies, focusing on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human-interest stories.
