Someone With A Controlling Personality Usually Displays These 9 Behaviors On A Daily Basis

The phrase "love is blind" couldn't be truer. When you're infatuated with somebody, you see what you want to see and ignore the maybe not-so-great parts of who they are. And the notion that true love means being accepting of your partner's best and worst qualities complicates things further. 

The line between accepting abuse and being tolerant of their flaws is especially blurred in the eyes of someone dangerously in love. They might see a partner being overcontrolling as a way of him or her showing how much they love them. But the truth is, a relationship that's unbalanced in any form is an unhealthy one.

It also doesn't matter whether or not your significant other is asserting power over you based on their own insecurities. It is not your job to make them feel secure about themselves. You can absolutely do your part as a loving partner to help, but their doubts will almost always overpower your efforts. If you're unsure whether your partner is controlling, see these nine signs ahead.

Someone who's controlling does these things almost daily:

1. They need to know where you are at all times

He or she doesn't like being left in the dark, so they require you to keep them posted on your whereabouts. But clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior explains that constantly reassuring your partner or checking in with them 24/7 rarely helps because a controlling person often uses "their own out-of-proportion jealousy as an automatic indication that you did something wrong."

2. They need you to be in constant communication with them

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They might feel threatened by the person they're with, and their insecurities get the best of them. He or she may get upset about unreturned texts and calls, which can scale into more serious accusations — according to research, jealousy and constantly checking on your whereabouts might be precursors to more severe abuse.

RELATED: You Can Usually Tell How Controlling Someone Is By These 5 Things They Do Constantly

3. They're vocal about who they don't like you hanging out with

Whether it's exes, friends of the opposite gender, close pals, or family members, they're not afraid to let you know who they approve or disapprove of. This kind of isolation from the people you love may start with subtle comments like, "so-and-so may not have your best interests at heart," clinical psychologist Monica Vermani cautioned.

4. They randomly check in on you

It's not unusual to receive phone calls in the middle of work or during dinner with friends, even though you've already given them a heads-up — and the false appearance of randomness is the exact point. Marriage and family therapist Caroline Madden traced this behavior to "insecurity or a toxic need for control."

5. They don't like you being out too long without them

They're possessive and don't like the idea of having to share you with others. 

6. They don't give you any privacy

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He or she asks to see your phone or computer to figure out who you've been talking to and about what. When this happens, it's important to remember that the goal of a controlling partner isn't finding something they will or will not expect. Marriage and family therapist Jane Greer points out that "a partner going through emails, phone messages, your DMs, is mostly due to their inability to trust you."

RELATED: If Someone Can't Stop Doing These 11 Things, They're Probably More Controlling Than They Even Realize

7. They give you an ultimatum

To get their way, they make you choose between them and others through guilt or threats, and according to research, these behaviors can be intended to undermine a person's self-worth through control and isolation from the people who may actually be able to help.

8. They don't let you talk to certain people

They've expressed who they don't feel comfortable with you keeping in touch with and get upset if you do.

9. You feel restricted in any way

Trust your gut. If you feel like you're trapped or unable to live your life freely, consider leaving this relationship if things don't improve after discussing it with your partner. The notion that true love means being accepting of your partner's best and worst qualities complicates things further.

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