Doctor With Terminal Cancer Says These 3 Things Are What Most People Wait Too Long To Do
Thirdman | Pexels Dr. Kim Nix is a resident physician who was diagnosed with metastatic sarcoma when she was 28 years old. She invites people to see what her life is like, as both a medical resident and a cancer patient, focusing on the practice of gratitude and being present.
In a TikTok, Dr. Nix revealed the three most important things she’s done as a cancer patient to get the administrative side of her affairs in order, which she recommends everyone do, even if they're not sick.
Most of us know that we should be doing this; we just keep putting it off. A 2022 survey found that 68% of Americans acknowledged that end-of-life preparations are important, but fewer than half have actually made any moves to start. Dr. Nix's list is a good place to start.
A doctor with terminal cancer says these 3 things are what most people wait too long to do:
1. Visit an estate lawyer and write a will
Herve Margot / Unsplash
Writing a will is an act of care for both yourself and the people you love. Research shows that only about 32% of adults in the U.S. have written one. Most people don't get around to it until they're in their 70s, which Dr. Nix's story reminds us, isn't always a guarantee.
Doing so lessens the doubt and ambiguity that can follow losing someone: If what you want after your passing is clearly defined, then your last wishes can be met without confusion or conflict from the people carrying those wishes out.
2. Make a record of all bank accounts, debts, and assets
Dr. Nix explained that she put that list of important financial resources in a safe place for her husband to refer to, as needed. Essentially, she made it simple for her next-of-kin to access whatever documents they would need to access, in the event of her passing.
This is another example of care in action, as she’s ensuring that her finances are in order, and the person she wants to have access to that information will have it. Therapist Brock Hansen notes that the strongest partnerships are built on practical acts of care, and making sure your partner has what they need is one of the most loving things that you can do.
3. Have open and honest discussions with loved ones about end-of-life care
Gabriel Ponton / Unsplash+
Dr. Nix shared that the third thing she did to prepare for death was “perhaps the most important and meaningful.” A large study on bereaved family members found that those who had end-of-life discussions with their loved ones experienced lower rates of depression after losing them.
Having the conversation is by no means easy, but the researchers assured that it's one of the most protective things a family can do for each other. They also talked about her goals for care, which she defined as the “types of interventions I would be willing and unwilling not to accept.”
Medical care and interventions are deeply personal choices, ones that only we can make for ourselves, as we know ourselves best. By having this resonant yet difficult discussion about treatment, Dr. Nix ensured that her needs would be met with as little confusion as possible.
While Dr. Nix has taken care of the practical aspects of preparing for death, she’s also touched on how she navigates the issue on an emotional level.
In a separate TikTok, Dr. Nix shared how she copes emotionally with having terminal cancer. “Overall, my spirit and my emotions are in a good place at the moment,” she said, before revealing a few things she does to maintain high spirits.
“I try to find something to be grateful for every day,” she said. “I find having gratitude towards this life is a really nice way for me to feel connected and to be in the present moment.”
Sometimes the things she’s grateful for are small, like sharing a hot cup of tea with her husband or getting a new shade of nail polish. Other times, they’re larger in scale: visiting New York on a bucket list trip or getting the puppy she’s always wanted.
Dr. Nix also shared that she sees a licensed counselor to help her navigate the tougher emotions she feels and process the experience of being sick. She said that seeing someone professionally is “very helpful in healing.”
The final thing Dr. Nix does to stay emotionally sound is lean on her support network. “I’m very fortunate to have an outstanding community behind me, and those people are with me every day,” she shared.
Dr. Nix's post opens up a larger discussion on living with an incurable illness. While discussing what we want to happen when we die is never an easy task, it’s a hugely valuable one, and a way to care for yourself and others when the inevitable comes to pass.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
