Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be A Real Adult
jessicaphoto from Getty Images Signature via CanvaPeople may legally become adults when they turn 18, but that doesn’t mean everyone magically becomes more mature and independent at that age. Becoming an adult is learned over time instead of something that happens overnight.
The idea of what even makes someone an adult has changed over time. Years ago, people weren’t truly considered adults until they started a family, which they were encouraged to do as soon as possible. But this isn’t as relevant now, showing that each generation developed its own beliefs about what actually makes someone grown.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and boomers don’t totally agree on what a real adult is.
Older generations like boomers and Gen X are known for valuing conventional responsibilities. For them, adulthood is like a role that you step into once you reach a certain age. Younger folks tend to see becoming a real adult as more of a goal, and one that seems pretty elusive at that. This can put them at odds sometimes.
Boomers think that a real adult is someone who isn’t afraid to take on responsibility and support their family.
This generation was known for being borderline workaholics, and they believed that the financial security that came with that was an essential part of being an adult. To them, an adult was someone who could support themselves and stand on their own two feet without needing help from others.
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The way picture-perfect families were portrayed in classic TV shows like “Leave it to Beaver” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show” wasn’t really that far from boomers’ reality. Getting married and having children was an inevitable part of life for this generation, and they stuck to traditional gender roles when doing so. Men were the breadwinners while women took care of their kids and the house. Falling into this pattern was just part of becoming an adult.
Baby boomers equated adulthood with responsibility and independence, and they expected to achieve that at a fairly young age. There wasn’t as much time for boomers to figure out their futures because their parents thought they should just jump right into the next stage of life.
Gen X also valued independence, but not in quite the same way.
Being independent was important for Gen Xers, but it wasn’t something they had no choice but to embrace once they reached a certain age. Instead, it was something they learned to be when they were still young. Because their parents worked long hours, Gen X was usually responsible for taking care of themselves.
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This gave them an even greater sense of self-sufficiency than boomers. They were able to handle things on their own because they didn’t have another choice, not because they learned to when they started a family. This gave them the impression that real adults can solve their own problems and do things themselves with minimal outside support.
These skills have made Gen X a great fit for leadership positions in companies, but they don’t neglect their families either. In this way, Gen X sees taking on responsibility as being an essential part of adulthood, as boomers did.
Millennials questioned traditional views of adulthood as they focused on their duty to the world at large rather than just themselves.
A 2019 survey found that millennials wanted to see themselves as real adults, but they were having a hard time doing so. They thought that it “becomes embarrassing if you are not a full-fledged adult” by age 26, but many also noted they felt extreme stress over having to live up to some perfect ideal of what adulthood is supposed to look like.
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Millennials are also known for carrying their moral and ethical values into nearly every aspect of their lives. Many try to pursue careers that make a difference, or choose companies that support the same things they believe in. Unlike older generations who saw their personal and professional lives as two separate things, millennials think it’s all connected.
Because of this, millennials came to see adulthood as a time full of purpose. Their responsibility was more closely related to making an impact than it was to building a personal safety net. They don’t ignore starting families or establishing financial security, but they also think that being an adult comes with obligations beyond just taking care of yourself.
Gen Z is struggling to find their footing as adults, which is making them wonder how important those expected milestones really are.
This youngest generation is in a unique position. In a 2024 survey, respondents said they felt 27 was the true age at which someone becomes an adult, meaning many Gen Zers aren’t even at the age of true adulthood yet or have just reached it.
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Gen Z tends to learn about important financial concepts like budgeting a bit earlier than previous generations, but that doesn’t change the fact that they just don’t have enough money in the bank themselves. They expressed concern about being able to afford housing and kids, which older folks used as markers of real adulthood.
Because they simply can’t support themselves, about a third of Gen Z still lives with their parents, even though many of them are employed. This puts them in an uncomfortable position because older generations sometimes judge them for not being real adults when they know they’re doing the best they can. They don’t see the traditional checklist of becoming financially independent, buying a house, and starting a family as the true measure of adulthood when they know that’s just not possible for many people.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
