Someone Who Always Felt Left Out As A Kid Usually Develops 6 Habits In Adulthood

As a kid, the feeling of not having anyone to sit with at lunch was soul-crushing, and if that inability to fit in persisted in other areas of life, it might become emotionally traumatizing. Those scars don't just go away when you grow up.

Kids who deal with persistent feelings of loneliness develop coping mechanisms that become part of normal everyday life as an adult. Some of these habits are bad, but not all of them. Some of them might even surprise you.

Kids who always felt left out often grow into adults with these 6 habits:

1. They prefer to avoid large social gatherings

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This one will probably not come as much of a surprise, but kids who struggled to fit in growing up tend to carry those insecurities into adulthood. They may question if their presence is wanted, or they just may not know how to act in social situations.

Psychologist Brandy Smith explained to Parade that “The possible insecurity within situations could stem from reduced social interactions, so there is literally less data to pull from regarding how to interact with others.” Another theory Dr. Smith has is that these people typically blame themselves for why they were excluded, which means they don’t want to be a burden to others and will try to go out of their way to avoid socializing at all.

RELATED: 6 Things Adults Often Struggle With If They Were Mostly Left To Figure Things Out Alone As A Kid

2. They strive to be perfect

Another result of feeling left out as children is perfectionism. Since so many children blame themselves for being excluded, they will try to find control in any part of their life that they can. 

As adults, they try to maintain a perfect life so that they can’t lose control. They also don’t want to feel rejected, so they will try to make sure that whenever they meet somebody new, they go about the social interaction perfectly.

3. They need to flex their creativity

A highlight of being lonely as a kid is that time spent alone often fuels creativity and imagination. Many successful artists claim that they felt left out as kids, so they turned to art (I’m looking at you, Taylor Swift). 

Finding a creative outlet to release your emotions is incredibly beneficial for all humans. Many lonely kids learn from a young age that they have to be their own friend, so they turn to creativity to keep busy.

RELATED: Adults Who Were Singled Out & Felt Unwanted As A Child Often Develop These 11 Destructive Habits

4. They prefer rigidly scheduled days

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As I mentioned before, kids who felt left out tend to become perfectionists. Part of this can mean having a highly structured day. 

Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D told Parade that kids who felt left out crave a highly structured environment as adults. Dr. Frank believes that this is because structured environments leave less room for unpredictability, which makes these adults feel safer. 

5. They people-please to gain acceptance

This is a huge one, and the root of most of the habits developed from feeling like an outcast. Since so many kids who were left out crave the feeling of being wanted, they tend to be people-pleasers as adults. 

They believe that by being agreeable, people will want their company. People-pleasing is a habit that can be dangerous for one’s self-esteem and something that some people need to learn to do less of for their well-being.

6. They are motivated by the promise of praise

It’s human nature to want external validation. However, an adult should be able to feel like they are enough without somebody else constantly needing to say it. 

Adults who were constantly left out as kids, on the other hand, will seek validation in all aspects of their lives. If they don’t receive it, they will start to feel insecure again.

RELATED: People Who Always Notice When Someone Is Left Out Usually Have These 11 Personality Traits

Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.