Highly Intelligent People Actually Use 9 Tricks To Read Someone Without Making It Weird
DukiPh | ShutterstockSome highly intelligent people seem to have a knack for understanding others. They've learned to listen closely to better understand what someone might be feeling without making things weird.
Instead of making people feel scrutinized or uncomfortable, they use barely noticeable cues to understand people and respond in a more empathetic way.
Here are the ways highly intelligent people analyze someone without being weird:
1. They notice how someone reacts to stress
Stress affects everyone differently. Some people pull away and keep to themselves, while others get angry or overwhelmed. People can react this way even when the thing that stresses them out doesn't seem that major to anyone else.
Highly intelligent people tend to pick up on the smaller things that stress someone out, even when that person doesn't say it directly. They might notice this by first watching how a friend responds to bigger stressors. Then, if that friend starts acting the same way in lower-stress situations, they can start to understand what might be bothering them. This helps them figure out why someone may suddenly seem frustrated, sad, distant, or upset.
This kind of analysis can actually be really helpful because it keeps them from taking someone's reaction too personally. Intelligent people understand that some things bother other people more than they might bother them. Instead of assuming it's not that big of a deal, they're more likely to recognize that their friend is already struggling and doesn't need to feel invalidated or dismissed on top of it.
By noticing how their friend reacts to stress, they may be able to understand what that person really struggles with and be more careful around those triggers when they're together.
2. They pick up on body language without staring
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Crossed arms and slouching shoulders can tell us a lot about someone's mood. We may not have to ask them to know they're upset. These signs are usually easier to notice than more subtle body language, but highly intelligent people pay attention to the smaller things people do with their bodies, too.
This helps them better understand someone's mood and possibly what they're thinking. It can also help them notice when a friend feels uncomfortable in a certain place or situation. If someone always seems tense in crowded rooms, for example, a highly intelligent person may remember that and try to make things easier for them the next time they're in that situation.
They do this because they know analyzing body language isn't the final step. It's not just about noticing what someone is feeling. It's also about figuring out the best way to respond so that their friend feels understood rather than watched or judged.
3. They listen to the tone and pace of someone's words
People's words don't always reflect what they're actually thinking. They might have something totally different going on in their mind. Even if someone says they're fine, highly intelligent people know that isn't always true.
These people learn to look a little deeper into someone's words. They don't just listen to what someone is saying; they also listen to how they say it. The verbal cues someone gives, along with the way they deliver their words, can often be more revealing than the actual topic. Tone and tempo can tell us a lot about what someone might really be feeling.
If someone is speaking faster than normal, there could be emotion behind their words. They might be excited or stressed, which can cause them to talk more quickly. Highly intelligent people pick up on this by linking the pace of someone's speech to the tone they use.
If someone is being sarcastic, it can also suggest they mean the opposite of what they're saying. If they say they're great, but their tone is clearly sarcastic, that can be a clue that they're not actually doing well. By paying attention to tone and connecting it with tempo, highly intelligent people can get a better idea of what someone is really thinking or feeling.
4. They ask open-ended questions that help people share more
Hypothetical questions can give us insight into people. They show us how someone might respond to situations we've never actually seen them in. Even if we think we know what someone would do, their answer might surprise us. This can help us see different sides of their personality and understand their perspective a little better.
Highly intelligent people ask these kinds of questions to better understand who someone is and how they think. They don't only use hypothetical questions, though. They also ask open-ended questions that give people room to explain themselves rather than just answer with yes or no.
Yes-or-no questions rarely lead to deeper conversations. Highly intelligent people try to ask questions that help others open up naturally. Going beyond surface-level talks can help them understand who someone really is without making the conversation feel forced or uncomfortable.
5. They pay attention to someone's interests and passions
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Sometimes, someone's job doesn't reflect their true passions. Someone might work in finance, for example, but love drawing, music, writing, or something completely different outside of work. Highly intelligent people usually look for what someone loves, not just what they do for a living.
Our hobbies and interests can show what we're passionate about. What someone cares about can also reveal what motivates them. If they spend their free time mastering a new skill, they may really value learning. If someone prefers to volunteer when they have extra time, it can show that they care about their community and their connection with others.
Highly intelligent people can learn about someone's interests by asking better questions. Instead of only asking, "What do you do for work?" they might ask, "What would you do if money weren't an issue?" or "What's something you love doing outside of work?" These questions help them understand someone's passions and priorities in life.
6. They listen closely when someone talks about their childhood
Highly intelligent people pick up on the moments when a friend mentions their childhood. They take a moment to really listen and understand what might be underneath the story. They may also notice what feelings someone connects to that memory based on how they tell it.
If someone's childhood stories are mostly happy, it can clue them in to the positive experiences that shaped them. But if those stories are usually negative or painful, they may become more careful and sensitive around that person's bad experiences. They can also tell whether someone actually wants to talk about it based on how much detail they share.
Childhood can have a major effect on who we become as adults. By paying attention to how someone talks about their childhood, highly intelligent people can better understand why they think, feel, and act as they do.
7. They look for patterns instead of judging one bad moment
Individual actions don't always show who someone really is. Sometimes a person is just having a bad day and might act frustrated in a situation where they normally wouldn't. Highly intelligent people don't use someone's actions from a single moment to decide exactly who their friend is. Instead, they're on the lookout for patterns.
Behavioral patterns can give us insight into how a person usually responds in certain situations. One frustrated reaction doesn't tell us everything, but if someone reacts that way repeatedly, it could suggest they tend to get angry when things don't go their way. Intelligent people know that when someone does something enough times, it may become a habit.
If something has become a habit, it's usually hard to break. Highly intelligent people understand that they can't always fix negative patterns in someone else's behavior. If those actions start hurting them or their other friends, they may use what they've noticed to decide whether the friendship is still healthy for them.
8. They notice what someone is wearing
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Many groups that connect with a particular subculture end up dressing similarly. Over time, that subculture may develop a recognizable style. For example, someone who wears a lot of black, ripped jeans, or heavier accessories may be showing that they connect with a certain kind of music, art, or community.
Highly intelligent people know to look out for the signals clothing can give us. They understand that many people take time each morning to choose what to wear. Because of that, they may think about why someone took extra care to look a certain way or what they might be trying to express.
Clothing can be a way people show who they are. What someone wears can say a lot about their personality, their interests, or even who they want to become. Even if a friend's clothing doesn't seem that important at first, it can reveal a lot about how they want to be seen.
9. They take someone's pace of life into consideration
Some people always seem to be moving. They have a faster pace of life, filling their schedules with work, plans, projects, and goals. Other people seem to move more slowly and take their time with things. The pace of someone's life can reveal a lot about how they balance work, rest, and personal time.
Most people have a life outside of work, and how they spend that time can say a lot about what they value. If someone spends their free time hanging out with friends, they probably care a lot about close relationships. Another person might spend their time after work finishing assignments or preparing for the next day, which could show they're more career-focused and goal-driven.
By paying attention to someone's pace of life, highly intelligent people can understand their work-life balance. It can also help them see whether they'd be compatible as a friend or partner. Someone's pace of life often reflects their habits, priorities, and how they usually move through the world.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
