If You're Always Tired But Never Sleep, 11 Specific Culprits Are Likely To Be The Reason
BearFotos | Sutterstock We've all experienced it at some point. That feeling like you're so exhausted and can't wait to get home and go to bed, only to discover that once you're in bed you can't sleep. If you're one of those people who experiences this daily, you know it's more than just an annoyance.
By recognizing some of these common ways people sabotage sleep without knowing it, you can start making changes. And don't worry, you probably don't need to make all 11 changes, but by testing and trying to figure out what works best for you, you may be able to finally get the rest you deserve.
If you're always tired but never sleep, 11 specific culprits are likely to be the reason
1. You're constantly overthinking
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Oftentimes, the reason you're always tired but struggle to actually sleep, is because your mind is constantly racing with a mix of worrying and obsessing over something in the past.
Even unresolved or repressed emotions can make it hard to relax, as they tend to come out once you lay down with no more distractions to rely on to avoid addressing them. It can be hard to name them or even place why you're feeling them, but they will pop up, even if they're in the form of something random, leaving you wondering where to even start addressing them.
Whether you're thinking about something stressful like work or something personal, if you're not taking the time to unwind your mind with mindfulness activities or even physical activity, your sleep schedule will suffer as a result.
To help resolve the problem, try daily meditation, even just five minutes at a time. You can use a background track or try it in silence. This helps your brain learn to be still, which comes in handy when you're trying to fall asleep.
2. You don't have a dedicated sleep space
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If you have the luxury of moving your work or gaming outside of the bedroom, do it now. People who work or play video games (or even watch scary/exciting movies and TV) from their bedroom may end up exhausted but struggling to sleep due to subconscious associations in that room.
For example, if you have a gaming console or gaming computer in your bedroom, you may subconsciously associate that space with excitement and high-stimuli situations.
Similarly, if your work desk is in your bedroom, you may ruminate on work problems more due to the location. If you're using your bed as a dinner table or work space during the day, that can also alter your brain's ability to associate it with a positive sleep routine.
3. Your bedtime routine is depressing or stressful
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Anything you do regularly before falling asleep is considered a bedtime routine, and doomscrolling or watching videos on your phone makes a terrible one. While some types of games may help you get sleepy, like crossword puzzles or simple spatial puzzles like Tetris (for some people), most others only raise cortisol levels.
A great deal of research suggests that too much screentime before bed in general can dramatically alter melatonin production that helps assist people in falling to sleep. When you're scrolling before bed, your brain doesn't have any time to turn off, making it incredibly hard to fall asleep and stay asleep, even if your physical body is exhausted.
Not only does your phone overstimulate and overload your brain with unnecessary information and stress, it disrupts your sleep patterns and natural wake cycle by disconnecting you from the outside world, including the dark outside of your windows.
In fact, your natural sleep and wake cycle can be disrupted by any kind of unnatural light, from streetlights outside your bedroom window, to a bright nightlight, or an alarm clock, so it's important to be careful and intentional about what kinds of light you're allowing into your resting space.
Instead of just dropping your phone and TV habits before bed, try replacing them wiht something healthier and more likely to help you be truly sleepy. Meditation and gentle yoga are a great start, but a warm shower or bath can help in similar ways.
Then, try making a routine of plugging your phone in across the room, with notifications silenced. Keep a lighthearted book or a book of word puzzles and small light next to your bed, just in case you are overthinking. These can give you something to think about that won't make a mess of your sleep cycle.
4. You consume too much caffeine
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If you're a big fan of energy drinks or love your coffee, tea or colas all day long, you might be simply consuming too much caffeine at the wrong time of day.
Caffeine can contribute to not being able to sleep, but in the right amounts, with some people, it can help them establish a healthy wake-sleep cycle, according to a study published in Frontiers in Psychiatry.
The kind of wakefulness and alertness that caffeine sparks can make it harder for the body to naturally unwind, so people who are always tired often end up using caffeine more in order to stay awake until bedtime. Then, when bedtime rolls around, they feel tired but are too buzz-y to sleep.
Fortunately, you don't have to cut out caffeine completely to be able to fall asleep, but being intentional with habits that have the power to affect your sleep is essential. So try cutting back on just the last cup of caffeinated drink you have daily. If it's at 4 pm, have your last one at 2pm instead, for example.
Yes, you'll be sleepy around 4 pm, but you'll need to push through until an earlier bedtime for a few days while you adjust. This may be enough of a reduction to make a difference, or you may need to cut out your 2pm cup after that. It takes time, but if it gets you back to sleeping well, it's worth it!
5. You're dealing with some depression
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The unsettling and frustrating dichotomy of fatigue during the day and restlessness at night is common for people with depression. The emotional turmoil associated with many depressive symptoms makes it difficult for people to truly unwind when bedtime rolls around.
Many people struggling with depression struggle with basic tasks like showering or brushing their teeth, which is why it's not surprising that their lack of exercise and inability to commit to routines around physical activity may also contribute to their instability to fall asleep at the end of the day.
If you feel tired and flat during the day as a result of depression, it can be hard to recognize the signs of true sleepiness when it rolls around near bedtime. Instead, you may just feel anxious and turn on the TV or find another way to distract yourself, thus disrupting your sleep cycle worse.
If this feels resonant, it's a good time to reach out to your healthcare provider or a counselor or therapist. They'll know best how to help you address the issues relating to your depression and help you get started.
If that feels like a step too far, try getting out once per day for a little walk or increasing the amount of exercise you get (or change the type) a little bit each day for a few weeks. This can help alleviate some depression symptoms and increase sleepiness in a good way.
6. Your sleep schedule is all over the place
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According to experts from the Cleveland Clinic, not going to bed at the same time every night can have detrimental effects on a person's sleep schedule and their ability to get quality sleep.
This can be unavoidable, especially for people with inconsistent work routines, like working nights a few days during the week or people with babies who don't sleep well. Because of this inconsistency, their bodies often don't know when to start settling down, and their sleeping/waking rhythms may fall out-of-whack.
Of course, if you're able to intentionally set and follow a certain bedtime routine, including going to bed at the same time, it can help you to unwind your mind and fall asleep. But if it's not possible to go to bed at the same time, relying on other habits and rituals can help people who are always tired but can never fall asleep to finally get the rest they need and deserve.
Whenever you can be consistent, try to make it work. On your nights off, try to always be in bed by a certain time, and follow the same sleep routine before bed when you can't.
7. They're burnt out
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Experts from the University of Michigan argue that it can be hard to tell the difference between being tired and being burned out. People experiencing burnout can feel "tired but wired," unable to shut down their mind, anxiety, and worry when bedtime rolls around, even if their body is fatigued and exhausted.
If you feel even a little burned out, it's no surprise. Today's world pressures people into constant productivity, often live in a state of constant fight-or-flight mode, battling chronic stress that the body struggles to find peace and stillness within. So, if you feel like you can't sleep despite being completely exhausted, this could be why.
Of course, the only true solution to burnout is rest, so it's important to rely on bedtime rituals and mindfulness techniques that allow burnt out individuals to release their mind from the stress of anxiety and truly relax. If there are ways to mitigate whatever stress is causing your burnout, that is a bigger solution to check out, too.
8. You're dealing with menopause, low T or other hormonal issues
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Yes, your sleeplessness and fatigue may be caused by hormones, and not only for older ladies!
When we think about sleeplessness associated with hormonal changes, we might think of perimenopausal women only. In truth, all sorts of hormone imbalances can cause problems, including low testosterone levels in men.
Endocrinologist Kelly Wood argues that people who struggle with hormonal imbalances often struggle with insomnia and falling asleep. "Hormonal insomnia can affect anyone. It can be due to pregnancy, menopause, thyroid conditions, and stress. Hormones that are most likely to affect your sleep patterns include melatonin, cortisol, estrogen, and progesterone," Wood said.
From heightened stress hormones like cortisol that affect sleep to hormonal imbalances that heighten fatigue, it makes true quality sleep hard to achieve. But it's not uncommon for people who are always tired but can never fall asleep to have an unsuspecting internal hormonal imbalance.
9. Your diet is a real mess
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Simple dietary habits and choices throughout the day can greatly affect your sleep/wake patterns and your ability to get quality sleep, according to a study published in the International Journal of Medical Sciences. From eating too much sugar and high processed foods to not carving out enough space for nutritious meals, our diets hold a lot of power over our body and mind's ability to unwind.
In addition to the kinds of foods you're eating, the time at which you eat them can affect sleep patterns as well. If you're eating too much right before bed, it can negatively impact digestion, disrupt your body's natural internal clock, and even make falling asleep harder if you're experiencing things like acid reflux or fullness.
To remedy this, focus on eating less fast food and processed foods, and stop eating a few hours before bed. Save your big water jugs for the daytime, and switch to sipping water in the hour before bed to help reduce burping and midnight bathroom visits.
10. You're napping all wrong
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According to experts from the Mayo Clinic, there are right ways to nap and wrong ways to nap.
For example, a short 30-minute nap in the afternoon is actually incredibly beneficial for boosting energy levels and productivity for the average person, but a three-hour nap at 1pm might mess you up. Too many naps or too long of a rest can impact people's ability to fall asleep at night, even if they feel exhausted and tired.
Napping too frequently during the day can mess with the body's natural sleep-wake cycle, making it hard for the brain to differentiate between when the body needs to rest and when it doesn't when bedtime rolls around. By limiting too much rest during the day and focusing on a routine that allows you to move your body, rest for a little bit, and leverage healthy habits like a well-rounded diet, your sleep schedule will naturally get easier to maintain.
11. They're not drinking enough water
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Being dehydrated can lead to restlessness and sleep cramps that disrupt the body's ability to fall asleep and maintain a quality sleep schedule, but subtle physical symptoms like headaches can also contribute to a person's inability to rest at night.
Drinking enough water is essential to so many of our body and mind's natural functions. When we miss out on the benefits of drinking water, we're not just sabotaging sleep, but a number of other mental and psychological functions that protect our health and well-being.
As noted above, chugging water before bed can have consequences of its own, so try to ease off before bed and prioritize getting adequate water during the day. You can add electrolytes to your water to maximize absorption, or even sprinkle a little table salt in your water glass to add some minerals.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
