10 Life Realities That Women Under 50 Just Don't Understand, But Will In Due Time
PerfectWave | ShutterstockDespite largely viewing aging more unfavorably than their male counterparts, often because of societal pressures and unrealistic beauty standards, a positive attitude toward aging and learning to accept it with grace is just one of the many life realities that women under 50 just don't understand yet but will in due time.
With the wisdom of life experience, a growth in self-esteem, and the routines they've cultivated throughout their lives, women often feel their most grounded with age, even amid the noise around what they should be doing or how they should feel. They've learned the life lessons that many only learn with time, and can share that wisdom to prepare their daughters and other young women on how to embrace life with open arms.
Here are 10 life realities that women under 50 just don't understand, but will in due time
1. Peace is more valuable than constant excitement
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While building "peace" in life looks different for everyone, living with a peace-oriented mindset truly boosts personal happiness and well-being. Even for the people in someone else's life, being around their calm energy reduces their stress and even makes their lives better.
Regardless of what calmness and security look like for someone, it's always more grounding than constant urgency and excitement. Even for young people, who are learning about themselves and building a life, it's important to remember that there's always time and space to slow down and appreciate what they already have.
2. You don't always have to be chasing something
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We're pressured as a society to always focus on what's "missing" from our lives. While ambition, growth, and goals are all important, when we center our self-worth around what we're striving toward, instead of what we have, we miss out on the joy and presence of gratitude and appreciation.
While older women, who have experienced the passage of time from a different perspective, have the wisdom to appreciate what they have, instead of wishing time away, young people may struggle to grasp the present moment. They're building their lives and creating themselves from the ground up, but that doesn't mean there's not still space to slow down, look around, and appreciate what's already there.
Whether it's time with their parents, their body and health, or simply an excitement for life, these things are worth making time to appreciate and experience.
3. Other people's opinions don't matter
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Even when we're worried about how other people are perceiving us, the reality is that most people are more concerned about themselves than passing judgment on you. Even if they are judging, speaking negatively behind our backs, or showing jealousy, other people's opinions do not matter. It's how we feel and think about ourselves that truly matters for promoting a better, happier, healthier life.
Being liked isn't as important as we think it is, especially for women who have been socialized into seeking male approval and attractiveness above personal well-being. Caring for ourselves matters. Of course, relationships and social connections bring joy, but we learn to appreciate them more when we stop placing our self-worth entirely in their hands.
4. Your relationship with yourself is the only one you'll have forever
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While women are often pressured to find a partner and prioritize love, they miss the beauty of loving themselves. It's not just about resting and slowing down, although those things are incredibly important, but building a foundation of security to navigate life from.
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you'll ever navigate. It's the one that carries you through loss, breakups, hardship, change, and uncertainty. If you're isolated and alone, the relationship you've created with yourself determines how you feel and how grounded you become.
Especially for women, as they grow into more secure self-worth with age, putting this self-care and self-love first is a priority. However, it's a life reality and lesson that young women under 50 still have to learn and figure out.
5. Saying 'no' is a skill
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Especially for women, who are pressured to be "agreeable" and tailor their lives for the validation of men from a young age, being confident enough to say "no" is truly a skill. Whether it's protecting your alone time, setting a boundary, or advocating for yourself in a workplace that likes to take advantage, the power of "no" is an important life lesson for women to learn as they get older.
Even if you don't know what you want or what you need, you can still set a boundary and protect yourself. You can follow your intuition without knowing if it's "right" or needing to explain yourself to anyone. While it might feel like other people are "owed" something from you, the reality of your power is a life lesson you'll grow into over time.
6. Your energy is a limited resource
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While our love might be limitless and our passion for life unstoppable, our energy is something that we only have a finite amount of on a daily basis. We can overschedule and overwork ourselves, but at some point, sacrificing the sleep and alone time we need to boost our energy levels will catch up to us.
Even if it's just sourcing solitude to boost your social battery, cultivating routines and a mindset that allows women to slow down is a life reality that women often learn much later in life. While modern women are being more cognizant of self-care, with younger generations noticing more mental health support, the desire to be "busy" and constantly moving is still more prevalent than ever.
7. 'Butterflies' aren't always a good thing
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While feeling nervous around someone or feeling instant chemistry with a person aren't inherently bad things, when you're constantly getting "butterflies," it might be a sign of anxiety from your intuition that something isn't right. While young people tend to seek excitement from relationships, women over 50 know all too well that anxiety will never outperform ease and safety.
Relationships thrive when people feel emotionally safe and secure. While older women have learned to create that sense of security both in themselves and with the right partners, many young women are still learning to find themselves outside of external validation and a need for constant excitement in their lives.
8. It's okay to outgrow things and people
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It's a natural part of life to outgrow things you used to love and relationships with people you thought would last forever. In many ways, outgrowing things is actually a sign that you're growing as a person. Some people stick around and grow with us, but most of the time, outgrowing someone is a sign that you're ready for different, more aligned experiences than they can currently offer.
Women who have been through a million friend breakups and have outgrown past versions of themselves understand what comes on the other side of this discomfort. However, for younger women who are still figuring out how to let go and change, the uncertainty can be difficult to lean into.
9. Always trust your intuition
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Especially considering women are naturally wired to be more intuitive, fast-paced thinkers, according to psychiatrist Judith Orloff, learning to trust your gut and following these urges is a superpower. However, as a young person who's not only learning who they are, but also how to trust themselves, leaning on intuition to make big decisions can feel scary.
While their older counterparts might have the wisdom of self-trust and inner self-assuredness, they're still figuring out how to build confidence and trust in themselves, in a world that urges them to look outward for approval.
10. Not everything is urgent
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In our hustle culture that glamorizes burnout and overwork, it's easy to get caught up in the rush of things. We always feel like obligations, projects, and needs are "urgent," even if it's an illusion encouraging us to burn ourselves out for another person, employer, or space. It's okay to slow down, and even if it's not always comfortable to sit with your company and thoughts, it's a skill the healthiest people need.
Women over 50 know the power of slowing down and taking their time, whether it's offering self-care in the face of stress, doing their skincare with intention, or simply enjoying the present moment without thinking about what's "missing." However, young people, trying to make their mark and find their place in the world, feel like they're ironically running out of time.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
