People Who Lack Empathy & Crave Control Often Share 8 Traits Of Malignant Narcissism
polina zimmerman | PexelsA malignant narcissist is not just someone who loves attention; it's someone who lacks empathy and craves control. Narcissistic personality disorder is often confused with the selfie-loving, shallow boaster who wears out your patience, but the condition is much more complicated than that. People with strong narcissistic traits often depend on outside praise to protect a fragile self-image, and their moods can change quickly when they feel criticized, embarrassed, or exposed.
Not everyone with narcissistic traits acts the same way. Still, malignant narcissism is often described as a more dangerous type because it blends narcissistic traits with aggression, manipulation, and antisocial behavior, which is why knowing the signs can help you understand when someone's behavior has become genuinely harmful.
People who lack empathy and control often have these narcissistic traits:
1. They constantly need to prove they're better than everyone else
"I am so smart! My IQ is above 140." Self-enhancement is a prominent feature of narcissistic personality disorder, regardless of the dimension. They view themselves in an overly positive light and believe they are unique and superior to others.
In a study, researchers found that people high in narcissism tend to overestimate or exaggerate their abilities, status (for example, intelligence), and looks. They believe they are better than other people, and the self-enhancing variables usually relate to "power and status". Even if evidence to the contrary is presented, such as the results of an IQ test, they may still refuse to accept it.
Often, that reality will be challenged, rather than accepted. They might become extremely defensive and verbally attack or degrade the examiner who gave the test or the test itself ("What a stupid test!"). Indisputable evidence of their inaccurate, overly inflated self-assessment does not change the self-view of someone high in narcissism.
2. Their self-esteem is fragile, even though they act confidently
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"Make them believe I'm smart and handsome. I won't stand for anything else!" The DSM-5, the Alternative Model for Personality Disorders, notes that people with narcissistic personality disorder often have vulnerable self-esteem, regardless of whether the person is extroverted or introverted. Because of that, they may rely on others to stabilize their emotions and sense of self. Even though they come across confidently, their ego is actually very fragile.
3. They show very little empathy for the harm they cause
Research shows that people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder have some of the neurobiological impairments of psychopathy. This makes sense, given that narcissistic personality disorder is suspected to fall along a spectrum that includes psychopathy. One neuroimaging study found those with a narcissistic personality disorder to have problems associated with the right anterior insular cortex, a region of the brain suspected to be associated with empathy.
In 2013, researchers from the University of Germany examined the brain patterns of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder and found similar patterns. The group that met the criteria for the condition showed reduced gray matter volume in brain regions associated with emotional empathy. Neuroscience studies of this nature lend considerable evidence that people with pathological narcissism have a limited capacity to interact empathetically with society.
4. Malignant narcissists punish people for small disagreements or perceived disrespect
A person with malignant narcissistic traits can cause serious harm in families, workplaces, communities, and other groups when their behavior is controlling, aggressive, or abusive. They process information in ways that can harm not only society in general but also the people who love or depend on them. Family, co-workers, employees, and others in their lives often have to walk on eggshells to appease a fragile ego and minimize the occurrence of their unstable, impulsive, or aggressive behaviors.
They lash out or humiliate others for infractions of even the most frivolous nature (for example, you gave an opinion that differed from theirs; you demonstrated confidence, and it made them look bad; you told a joke that involved poking fun at them).
5. They twist reality when the truth makes them look bad
For some, their grandiosity and protection of their fragile "true self" can be so extreme that they will lie and give the impression that, simply because they say it, it becomes a reality. Many will become angered if their lies are challenged with truth or facts. Of course, this can create problems for the people close to them, as this pattern of behavior can easily veer into gaslighting.
According to psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg, malignant narcissism is a blend of two disorders that pose problems interpersonally for their victims: narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders. It's not uncommon for others to feel anxious, intimidated by, and fearful of people with this condition. The combination of poor empathy coupled with aggression, hypersensitivity, and suspiciousness can bring pain to others.
Those who interact with malignant narcissists often consider them jealous, petty, thin-skinned, punitive, hateful, cunning, and angry. Given their shallowness, they are not emotionally regulated and hold beliefs that swing from one extreme to the next.
6. Malignant narcissists rank people based on superficial factors
Malignant narcissists rank people based on power, status, beauty, money, or usefulness. They want to land on top, even when they're pretending to be altruistic or engaging in an activity that shouldn't be "all about them."
They often view the world through a primitive binary lens (for example, winner/loser; smart/dumb; rich/poor; pretty/ugly; black/white), all the while sustaining the belief that they are superior. This is likely associated with difficulties processing emotional information, reflecting underlying neurobiological dysfunction.
7. People like this often have narcissistic traits mixed with antisocial behavior
Researchers reviewed the works of Robert Hare, creator of the Psychopathy Checklist, and Kernberg, MD, who specializes in malignant narcissism. They found that both Hare & Kernberg found narcissistic personality disorder to be a component of (or to veer into) other conditions that are related, such as antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy.
The same researchers discussed the inclusion of narcissistic personality disorder within more sinister, destructive personality types. Given that, it seems there is a high correlation between antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders, they decided to explore whether or not narcissistic personality disorder is truly a condition that is distinct from antisocial personality disorder.
They found that grandiosity was a significant discriminator between antisocial and narcissistic personalities. Specifically, people with narcissistic personalities tended to be "boastful," arrogant, and grandiose regarding their abilities and achievements. Although they determined that both types exploit others, exploitation was more likely to be the goal of those with antisocial personalities.
As a neuropsychologist, I agree with research that conceptualizes personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality and antisocial personality, as falling along a continuum. Across the spectrum, a person may show different blends of traits from more than one personality disorder.
Rhonda Freeman is a neuropsychologist exploring the neuroscience of healthy and abusive love relationships. She is a former contributor to Psychology Today.
