People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Calm Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
ViDI Studio | ShutterstockIt isn't easy to keep a cool head during conflict. Managing one's emotions is a skill that takes work, a type of work most people don't even realize they need to do.
Those who are good at staying calm often use a few key phrases that offer a glimpse into how they do it.
10 phrases people who are mentally and emotionally calm say in casual conversation
1. 'It's okay, we'll figure it out'
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Learning how to be emotionally regulated isn't easy, but it's so worth it. You have to practice holding in those snappy comments and fight the urge to scream instead of talk calmly. This helps people find hope in tough situation.
Calm people often take a breath or ask to take a break during conversation until they feel calmer. Then they're better able to look at the brighter side and prevent their misery to get the better of them.
Then they can share something hopeful, like "It's okay, we'll figure it out" which is reassuring. It builds a bridge rather than burning one down, and that is an invaluable skill.
2. 'Take your time'
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People who know how to stay calm like to go at their own pace, but are willing to compromise to allow other people to take their time. Saying things like "take your time" or "no rush!" when someone seems flustered or rushed helps lower the stress level for everyone involved.
Do they secretly want to be out the door or rush the conversation? Of course. Even the most level-headed people can become impatient, too.
But they know that nothing good comes out of rushing anyone. Causing more tension and friction, they'd rather be patient than risk making a casual conversation turn intense.
3. 'I understand where you're coming from'
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It is very rare to hear someone say, "I understand where you're coming from" when you aren't seeing something eye-to-eye, but it's a great way to keep a conversation calm and respectful.
When people aren't given grace and understanding, it can cause others to pull away, leading to tenser conversations and bleaker relationships. This lack of understanding even affects people's career, as people succeed together, by learning from one another.
Luckily, mentally and emotionally calm people aren't like this. Always looking to bridge the gap, these are among the most mature individuals one will ever encounter.
4. 'Let's not assume'
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Someone being mentally and emotionally calm doesn't mean they're always positive, but they do their best to stay measured and thoughtful. They often tell themselves not to assume what someone else intended, and that helps them stay calm instead of jumping to the worst conclusion.
When they say that to someone else, they're not being bossy or controlling, they're standing up for what they believe is best. Not just for the other person, but also for themselves.
It sucks, but anxiety has a way of creeping in and making us the worst version of ourselves. Feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated, having a level-headed person remind you to never assume, could be just what you need to avoid jumping to conclusions.
5. 'That's out of our control'
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You can't control everything in life. In fact, there's very little that's actually within our control, despite how it may seem. What we do have control over is how we react to all of the out-of-control factors in life.
No matter how hard they try to steer the ship in one direction, life is full of surprises. However, rather than hyper-fixate on it, something level-headed people aren't afraid to say is, "That's out of our control." Despite their own fear and anxiety, they push forward and never stress too much.
Whether it swings their way or not, life goes on, and successful people adjust. This is why mentally and emotionally calm people say this with confidence, as it reminds them that they it's better to focus on what is controllable and stop freaking out about the rest.
6. 'Can you help me understand?'
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Mentally and emotionally calm people always try to understand other perspectives. They'd rather say, "Can you help me understand?" than accidentally dismiss someone.
As Co-Director of the Cooperative Learning Center at the University of Minnesota, David W. Johnson, Ed.D.said, "Misunderstandings often occur because we assume that everyone sees things from the same perspective as we do."
This is why they keep an open mind and ask plenty of questions. It's uncomfortable at times to ask for clarification. But being open-minded, they're much more likely to keep a casual conversation calm.
7. 'I need a little more time to think about that'
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It's tempting to rush into things and make quick decisions, especially things that might be uncomfortable to ask for time and space on. But there are amazing benefits to asking for time and space to reflect.
As advice published in the Harvard Business Review suggests, "Making decisions too quickly makes you more likely to end up with short-sighted or superficial solutions."
People who are naturally calm aren't afraid to say, "I need a little more time to think about that." They may hate keeping people waiting as much as the rest of us, but they understand the importance of being level-headed and logical.
This is something anyone can practice, too! Just pause and reflect, even when you're on your own. After a while, it becomes second nature.
8. 'Everyone makes mistakes'
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As much as people try to do the right thing, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. That's just life.
People who are authentically calm master the art of reigning in their emotions even when they've screwed up. Because of that, they're also able to extend this grace to others by saying something like, "Hey, everyone makes mistakes" and then moving on.
They don't allow their temper to get the better of them on either side of a mistake.
9. 'How can I help?'
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Many people can't help but roll their eyes when they hear someone ask, "How can I help?" as it's become almost a cliché at this point. It's almost as if they would rather take someone's direction than do the work of figuring out how to help them.
However, asking the question isn't a problem, and it can go a long way in helping prevent misunderstandings and even fights when things go wrong. People aren't mind-readers, after all!
Even the best, most loving partner is bound to fail to meet our needs sometimes, especially when we don't clearly ask for what we want. The same goes for friends, family and even colleagues at work.
That's why asking for advice on how to help isn't necessarily a sign someone is lazy or trying to placate you. It can be a sign they truly care and want to keep your interactions calm and mutually safe-feeling.
10. 'I'm grateful for what I have'
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Unlike most of us, calm people do their best to never take what they have for granted. Understanding how fortunate they are compared to others helps them stay cool and collected when things don't go their way.
To reinforce their gratitude, they make it clear that they're very lucky whenever it's appropriate. A journal is often the best place to establish this habit, but saying it out loud can help build a habit, as long as it doesn't sound like bragging.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
