People Who Seriously Lack Character & Class Usually Say 10 Phrases When They Talk To You
FXQuadro | ShutterstockNot everyone shows who they truly are right off the bat. While some people are like an open book, there are those who seriously lack character, but you won't know it until you're already invested.
Luckily, people like this show real selves in subtle ways, often without even realizing it. Once you know how to spot these signs, you can start spotting these low-character people are before they wreak havoc on your life.
People who seriously lack character & class usually say 10 phrases when they talk to you
1. 'I'm just being honest'
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People who lack character and class hide behind claims that they're just being honest. This erases their accountability by making it seem like other people can't handle the truth. While the truth is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, people who have chracter and class find a way to tell the truth while simultaneously being respectful.
As licensed psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D., wrote in an article titled The Harsh Truth About Brutal Honesty, "The sad result for those who communicate with brutal honesty is that, by hurting the feelings of others, their true message is usually lost."
This is why it's important to be careful about what you say. Classy people take a minute more to think about how theirr words come across, even when they have to honestly say something that might be tough to hear.
2. 'Do you know who I am?'
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There's nothing more annoying than someone who believes they're more important than anyone else. The number one way to tell someone is truly classless someone is is if they say, "Do you know who I am?"
In reality, even the celebrities whom everyone knows realize that this phrase shows how low-character they are. They know it centers their own wants and needs and makes them look like jerks, which is why you'll pretty much never hear a real A-lister say it.
Many entitled people don't realize this, but in the real world, nobody cares. Yes, if the person is super-famous, they may fawn over the celeb for a moment. But after the shine wears off, everyone is just human inside and character counts.
3. 'That's not my problem'
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Nobody wants to be inconvenienced and everyone has the right to set boundaries with those who want to make their own problems everyone else's, too. But there are ways to set boundaries without sounding rude or classless.
Worse people who lack character often say this when something actually is their problem. For example, they ordered something wrong at a restaurant and then blame the server.
Even with the best of intentions, there are better ways to speak to someone. Rather than being unhelpful, people can choose to redirect them or get them the resources they need. It takes a few minutes more, however, doing this not only shows character, but it also benefits everyone in the long run.
4. 'Whatever, I don't care'
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Classy people with character always do their best to show grace and kindness. Even when others treat them with disrespect, they never stoop to their level. Always choosing to take the high road, they don't say "whatever, I don't care" even if they're frustrated, they never allow that frustration to spill over.
Rather than dismissing others, those with class and character take breathers and choose to show grace regardless. It isn't easy, but they'd rather turn the other cheek than destroy their reputation or do harm to others.
5. 'You're too sensitive'
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Very few people mean to hurt or disregard someone's feelings.
In the moment, it's normal to say or do something that could rub others the wrong way, especially in tense situations when feelings are high. Accidentally hurting someone with words is bound to happen. However, how someone responds says more about them than the other person than even the mistake they made.
As family therapist Heather Rose Artushin, MSW, LISW-CP writes, "How we decide to frame a message can influence how people think, feel, and act—this is true in politics, health care, business journalism, law, and relationships."
So, if someone says, "You're too sensitive," be wary. Not only are they classless, but they likely lack character. Putting other people's feelings last, those who don't know how to take accountability aren't people you want to surround yourself with.
6. 'I don't owe anyone anything'
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It's true, you don't owe people anything other than to pay your bills and care for your kids. But saying things like, "I don't owe anyone anything!" usually indicates a deep sense of entitlement and selfishness.
Just because you don't owe anyone anything doesn't mean you shouldn't think about how your behavior affects others or go out of your way to be helpful. It's a foreign concept for low-character people, but being kind truly goes a long way, even when you don't owe anyone anything.
7. 'That's beneath me'
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People who lack character and class are always thinking about their own feelings. Whether it's at work or at home, those who lack class and character can't help but put their pride first and the feelings of others last.
They refuse to clean up after themselves or do chores that they believe should belong to someone else, even if it's easy for them and adds work to someone else who is already working hard.
They may think this is what's best for them, but this type of behavior makes them hard to trust and rely on. It also signals to others that this is a selfish person who probably won't show up for you in the long-run, especially when the going gets tough.
8. 'I don't care what anyone thinks'
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On the surface, not caring what others think sounds pretty good, right? Being entirely independent and focused on themselves, choosing to pick their happiness first sounds like a fantastic goal.
That being said, being too uncaring can become cruelty. Especially in your relationships, saying, "I don't care what anyone thinks," shows a lack of character.
In real life, we need to care about what people think: just not everyone. The people we love, the people we admire, still matter, as long as they have our best interests in mind. We don't want to turn into the kind of people who hurt others carelessly.
9. 'You should be grateful'
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Yes, gratitude will get you far in life. In fact, practicing gratitude can literally rewire our brains to notice more of the good and stop focusing so much on the bad.
That being said, telling anyone that they should be grateful is just rude. If you care about someone, you may want to point out the positives in their life, but this can be done in kind ways, using language that doesn't make them feel bad for not being happy-go-lucky about all aspects of their lives.
When you have character, you want people to feel good, you don't want them to feel ashamed.
10. 'Life isn't fair'
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Finally, the last thing people who lack character and class say is, "Life isn't fair." Now, does it suck when things don't go your way? Absolutely. And nobody should deny that reality.
That being said, you rarely need to tell anyone else that life isn't fair. Whether it's about yourself, and you feel like melting down because life has been so unfair to you, or you're telling someone else to get over something that hurt them, saying "life's not fair!" is not the answer.
Instead, we can always give people a reality check to help other people feel less entitled to a perfect life by saying something like, "We can't control everything, so maybe it's a good time to focus on what's positive in your life" or something similar.
Telling someone life isn't fair isn't just stating the obvious, it can also feel like you're shaming someone for feeling sad or hurt when something goes wrong.
In the end, you have to look out for yourself and if someone regularly uses these ten phrases, it's a good idea to give them some space. They probably lack character and, if you let them in too close, they may drag you down with them.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
