People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Intelligent Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
fizkes / ShutterstockMental and emotional intelligence are often revealed through the words people choose during ordinary conversations. Whether they're handling disagreements or responding to bad news, those with a high IQ and EQ tend to communicate in ways that make others feel respected and understood without even realizing they're doing it.
People with strong emotional awareness are generally better at considering others' perspectives and responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. As a result, there are certain phrases they naturally return to in everyday conversation because those expressions reflect the empathy and self-awareness that they've developed over time.
If someone is mentally and emotionally intelligent, they'll frequently use these phrases in casual conversation
1. 'I messed up'
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People who are mentally and emotionally intelligent know when they've messed up. They may not always want to admit it, but they do enough self-reflection to realize when they've crossed someone. Whether it was by blurting out something insensitive or messing up at work, you can tell someone is evolved when they say, "I messed up."
Vulnerability is far from easy. However, by being vulnerable, we can do better. As psychotherapist F. Diane Barth, L.C.S.W., explained, "Once you are hiding your mistakes, you not only don’t learn from them, but often you make them worse, either through attempts to cover them up or through misguided efforts to correct them."
This is why admitting where they've messed up shows maturity. Outside of it being the right thing to do, those who aren't ashamed are more likely to absorb the lesson.
2. 'We've got this'
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Life can feel pretty exhausting sometimes. As much as people try to remain positive, negativity has a way of sticking. Luckily, those who are mentally and emotionally intelligent know how to deal with this a lot better. Taking a deep breath and grounding themselves, people can tell someone is intelligent when they say, "We've got this."
Intelligent people always feel despair and anxiety. Despite popular belief, they aren't always confident in the direction life is going. However, unlike the average person, mentally and emotionally intelligent people stand up and dust themselves off. Getting a grip, they choose to rely on themselves and see the brighter side.
3. 'I understand where you're coming from'
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Not everyone can see different sides of an argument. Too caught up in their own perspective, only those who are emotionally and mentally intelligent say, "I understand where you're coming from." They might not always agree with another person's perspective; however, they can understand it.
When you empathize deeply with others, it doesn't take much for them to self-reflect and show care and concern. Showing compassion and experiencing the emotion with them, empathy is truly a superpower. As Point Loma Nazarene said, "Empathy makes you feel fully alive, fully present, as you meet others with understanding and compassion."
This is why those who say, "I understand where you're coming from," are such green flags. Able to meet you halfway there, those who empathize with you can build better relationships with you.
4. 'Let's focus on what we can control right now'
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Life doesn't always work out the way people anticipate. While they may do their best to focus on the present, navigating disappointment and anxiety is an entirely different monster. This is why truly intelligent people typically say, "Let's focus on what we can control right now."
They know they don't have the answers for everything. Despite how evolved they've become, life's going to play out in the way it's meant to. However, rather than trying to control something they have no firm grasp over, those who are intelligent ground themselves. Steering clear of anxiety spirals, they encourage others by reminding them of what's most important.
5. 'Give me a moment, please'
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Most people try to rush tense conversations before they're ready. Feeling as if they need to have that tough moment right then and there, those who are truly mentally and emotionally intelligent ground themselves and say, "Give me a moment, please." It's never easy to be upfront with others. While people may encourage it, telling others what you need can be terrifying.
However, intelligent people push through their people-pleasing tendencies and are upfront with their needs. Taking a moment for themselves, they let themselves cool off so they can give others the proper response. It wasn't that simple, however, as the Gottman Institute recommended, "they should last at least twenty minutes, since it will take that much time for your bodies to physiologically calm down."
By doing this, people not only show off their maturity, but they also steer the conversation in the right direction, allowing proper discourse and solutions to form properly.
6. 'What do you think is the best approach?'
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Some people feel the need to take control of everything. Always needing to be the one with the solution, it can feel unbearable when a person feels like the weight of the world is on their shoulders.
Thankfully, mentally and emotionally intelligent people include others in decision-making by asking, "What do you think is the best approach?" They aren't trying to delegate everything to one person. Already giving their solution, they're allowing others to speak and express their opinion. Focused on group effort, only those who are evolved include everyone in the decision-making process.
7. 'What can I do to make you feel supported right now?'
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Not everyone likes hearing this phrase. Hating the idea of being put on the spot or already feeling overwhelmed, it can feel lazy when someone hears, "What can I do to make you feel supported right now?" In some people's minds, not already knowing is a sign someone doesn't care. Believing that people should be mind readers, only those who are mature understand just how intelligent this phrase is.
Rather than playing a guessing game, this person is going directly to them and asking them what they need. Eliminating room for misunderstandings, as marriage and family therapist Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, LMFT, said, the way we communicate can absolutely impact our relationship.
So, if someone truly cares, expect them to ask. It may be uncomfortable, but it's a huge sign that someone is mentally and emotionally intelligent.
8. 'Let's break this down'
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Learning to navigate tough situations takes time and maturity. From listening to others to keeping an open mind, taking in all that information, and saying, "Let's break this down," is a huge sign that someone is intelligent. Nowadays, people want to take the easy way out. Most people rush to solutions, so someone who takes their time is pretty rare.
Can it be difficult to spend an extra thirty minutes to an hour sorting things out? Absolutely. However, getting it right the first time is much better than rushing it through and then watching the situation worsen later.
So, the next time something feels overwhelming, say, "Let's break this down." By sorting through everything, not only does it make a person's life ten times easier, but it also shows just how mature and intelligent they truly are.
9. 'I could be wrong, but...'
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Some people hate the idea of being wrong, fearing they might look unintelligent. Only those who are mentally and emotionally intelligent say, "I could be wrong, but..." They need to remind themselves of this constantly, but being wrong isn't a curse or a problem. Sure, it can be slightly awkward; however, it makes for a good learning lesson.
As York University said, "When we make mistakes, and gain insight from them, we have more empathy for others." This is why they aren't afraid to say that they don't know. Feeling confident in themselves regardless of the outcome, those who say this phrase casually are glaring green flags.
10. 'One step at a time'
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Finally, the last thing mentally and emotionally intelligent people say is, "One step at a time." In life, it feels tempting to rush. Even when they're on a deadline, intelligent people have to remind themselves that it's all about focusing on what's right in front of them.
Is this always easy? Absolutely not. Anxiety has a way of getting the better of anyone at times, especially when you're prone to overthinking. However, mentally and emotionally intelligent people have learned how to manage it. Having healthier coping mechanisms, those who say this phrase are as wise and emotionally evolved as they come.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
