People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Shallow Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Xavier Lorenzo | ShutterstockNot everyone is trying to be the most thoughtful person in the room. For people who are mentally and emotionally shallow, putting someone else's needs first feels like an inconvenience. It doesn't matter whether it's their spouse, kids, friends, or coworkers. If a situation doesn't benefit them or feed their ego, they usually aren't interested.
That mindset tends to come out in conversation pretty quickly. A 2017 study found that individualism is rising in many societies, and while independence can be a good thing, there's a downside when people stop considering how their words and actions affect others. Mentally and emotionally shallow people often expose themselves through the phrases they say, especially when they're expected to be empathetic or take responsibility.
10 phrases people who are mentally and emotionally shallow say during casual conversation:
1. 'I don't know, and I don't care'
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Shallow people don't care about others' opinions. If it doesn't align with their worldview or fuel their ego, they're quick to say, "I don't know, and I don't care." They aren't changing their ways anytime soon. Shallow people are self-centered and refuse to keep an open mind.
In their eyes, they know better, and because they think they’re ahead of everyone around them, they can come across as egotistical. That lack of empathy can cause real harm, as research published in Frontiers in Psychology found that empathy plays an important role in healthy social interactions and that struggling with it can lead to serious social and cognitive problems.
Unfortunately, shallow people don't seem to care. They'd rather damage their relationships than admit they're wrong.
2. 'That's just how I am'
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Instead of growing for the sake of their relationships, shallow people would rather watch those relationships sink and burn than improve themselves. Shallow people hate the idea of change, which is why they say, "That's just how I am," so easily.
Most shallow people are full of excuses. They can't accept the fact that there's anything wrong with them. Rather than taking a moment to reflect, shallow people bury their heads in the sand. Dodging accountability, they pretend that their toxic characteristics are 'how they were born' and not something they've developed over time.
3. 'Nobody can tell me what to do'
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Shallow people don't want to be controlled. It doesn't matter how irrational others tell them they are. At work, they're hyper-independent, and in their relationships they're as stubborn as a mule. It isn't healthy, but they don't know any other way to live. Only ever thinking of their own feelings, they are the type to say, "Nobody can tell me what to do."
In the moment, being difficult to control sounds good on paper. Yet, people who refuse to listen often end up damaging their relationships. As USU Extension explained, "Active listening helps people get on the same page and creates stronger relationships. When we actively listen, our partners in conversation feel heard."
Shallow people don't care and tend to get caught up in their ego; they aren't about to change anytime soon.
4. 'That's not my problem'
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Most people try to work together. At work, they lift one another up, and in their relationships, they problem-solve together. Nobody likes getting involved in situations that don't directly involve them; however, sometimes it is necessary to keep the peace. Especially in high-stress moments, sticking their neck out is the difference between gratitude and resentment. Yet, while many understand this, not everyone is on the same page.
Shallow people don't care about doing what's right. If it doesn't benefit them, they aren't changing. Is it selfish? Absolutely. Is it surprising? No. That's why "That's not my problem" is one of the phrases emotionally shallow people often say.
5. 'I said what I said'
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They don't care if they cause drama. Shallow people only think about themselves. Even if it starts a conflict, they'll say, "I said what I said," with their chest out. It's messy; however, shallow people don't shy away from it. In their eyes, no world exists where they're wrong.
It's delusional, but a core part of being shallow is the lack of emotional intelligence. Unable to look outside of themselves, it isn't surprising that they'd say something like this; however, it is damaging.
As Master's Counseling Calgary explained, empathy helps people build trust, feel emotionally connected, and have healthier relationships. Without it, people can become more distant, less understanding, and much harder to connect with.
6. 'It's not that deep'
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Emotionally shallow people never believe it's that deep. Unless a situation directly impacts them, don't expect shallow people to stick their necks out. It's selfish; however, they can't help how they feel. Shallow people don't like to take accountability for their actions; they downplay their behavior by saying, "It's not that deep."
Shallow people don't want to acknowledge that they might have been in the wrong. They hate owning up to their mistakes, which is why they're quick to brush them off. It's immature, but someone who is mentally or emotionally shallow doesn't have the tools to manage their own emotions. So, expecting them to manage others is a losing battle.
7. 'People are so sensitive nowadays'
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Shallow people struggle to relate to others because they lack empathy. Too caught up in their own worldview, shallow people tend to say, "People are so sensitive nowadays."
They can seem heartless in the way they approach others. Unless it directly impacts them, everyone else can fend for themselves. It isn't a good mentality to have; however, shallow people don't care. They're too caught up in their own problems to understand that others are entitled to feel the same way.
As psychologist Sherry Pagoto explained, stress can make it harder for people to show empathy. So, when someone who already struggles to understand other people is in a bad mood, they may be even less likely to listen or offer support.
8. 'I don't have time for this'
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Shallow people never have time for others. They aren't going to go out of their way to be Dr. Phil for someone they don't care about. Even when they do care, their patience and empathy seem to run out quickly. Catch them in a bad mood, and see just how fast they say, "I don't have time for this."
They have unrealistic expectations. While they expect others to drop everything for them, shallow people will never do the same. It's immature and unfair; however, this is how they've always been. Too caught up in themselves, they don't care how their actions hurt others.
9. 'I don't need to apologize'
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Nobody likes to apologize. If given the choice between stepping on Legos and saying 'I'm sorry,' most people would take the Legos for ten, please.
Vulnerability is an icky feeling. According to Authentically Living Psychological Services, while there are many reasons, most people struggle to express vulnerability because they view it as a weakness.
Whether it comes from their upbringing or the messages they've absorbed over time, letting go of the idea that vulnerability is weakness can be difficult. While many people eventually learn to take responsibility, emotionally shallow people are more likely to avoid accountability and say, "I don't need to apologize."
10. 'I don't care what anyone thinks'
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Finally, shallow people are self-centered. They don't care what others think, let alone how they feel. If it doesn't work for them, don't expect them to budge anytime soon. It's hurtful, but that's how they tend to approach life.
They're highly individualistic, which is why they're unafraid to say, "I don't care what anyone thinks," and mean it. Shallow people lack the maturity to look outside themselves. They often fail to consider how their actions affect other people. That said, just because they don't know doesn't mean the pushback doesn't happen. As it stands, the more they degrade others, the more they push them away, leading to a very lonely life.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
