You Can Tell Someone Really Has Their Life Together By 9 Phrases They Say In Casual Conversation
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet | ShutterstockPeople who just seem to have it all figured out don't just walk the walk, they talk it too. That's really how you can tell they have their lives together.
Neuroscientist Rick Hanson argued that people can trust they have it together when their life feels meaningful and fulfilling, which is pretty abstract. The folks who really do live up to this ideal often demonstrate it through the language they use casually.
If someone says these phrases often, it usually means they actually have their life together:
1. ‘I need to go to bed, so I’m ready for tomorrow’
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Going to bed early is one of those things that we’re forced to do when we’re young, but then we miss when we’re older. A lot of people would agree that they have too much to do to turn in early, but not someone with their life together.
A routine of falling asleep and waking up early makes people feel more productive and less stressed, which is exactly what this kind of person is interested in. And, although some people who follow this pattern might be embarrassed to admit it for fear of sounding like one of their grandparents, someone who really has it together isn’t afraid to be honest about putting themselves first.
2. ‘I have it on my calendar’
Hearing someone say this might feel like a blast from the past. Obviously calendars aren’t limited to paper planners anymore, but it’s still not very often that someone consults their digital or analog schedule these days when making plans.
This is clearly a person who knows how to manage their time efficiently, which is one of the biggest signs they have their life together. Having an idea of what appointments and tasks they have coming up means they can ensure they have enough time for everything without overextending themselves. They don’t just understand their time, but they also value it.
3. ‘I took care of it already’
In a 2019 study, researchers said, “Proactive people take initiative when others do not and persist in improving their environment or themselves.” These are the folks who will do things without being asked to, or without even being responsible for them.
Being independent and not needing someone to constantly look over your shoulder is super important, especially in adulthood. People who are motivated to work hard whether anyone is watching or not are the ones who have it figured out.
4. ‘I can’t do that right now’
If someone is able to say this without feeling like they’re doing something wrong, they’ve broken free of the cycle of people-pleasing. They’re mature and organized enough to know when things just aren’t meant for them, even if it would benefit someone else if they got involved.
This form of boundary setting can feel like it requires some courage, but it’s how people can take care of themselves and avoid burnout. Part of having it together is not being afraid to stand up for yourself and make sure your well-being comes first.
5. ‘I’m taking a mental health day’
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Devoting a day to your mental health has become more widely accepted recently, but there are still plenty of people who think it’s a sign of laziness. It’s actually the opposite because people are able to get more done when they make time for rest. More than that, it shows that someone is really self-aware.
It’s the people who don’t have it together that succumb to burnout and overwhelm. Others can recognize when they’re coming too close to that state and need to intervene, or even take a day off well before so they don’t reach that point. They know who they are and what they need, and they aren’t afraid of taking care of themselves.
6. ‘I’m always learning’
Some people have a really hard time admitting that they don’t know everything, especially in a world that has become so divisive. Anyone who has their life together doesn’t fall into that category. They’re proud to be lifelong learners who can always benefit from the expertise of others.
Interestingly, research has shown that people who have an easier time admitting when they’re wrong are also more interested in learning. It makes them unique and easy to get along with, which is a true sign of maturity.
7. ‘I want us to be honest with each other’
People generally expect others to tell them the truth, but they don’t always feel like they need to hold themselves to the same standard. Someone who has a good handle on life will have no problem with being transparent and asking the people they know to do the same.
Without honesty, relationships can’t be built on a foundation of trust. Moving up to another level will have given this group of people firsthand knowledge of how important it is to be able to trust another person, especially when they’re close to them. They won’t waste time on anyone who is willing to settle for anything less.
8. ‘I don’t need to decide now’
It’s tempting to make choices based on your gut instinct, particularly when it’s obvious thinking about it could turn into a long and stressful process. There are definitely times when it’s fine to do that, but people who have their life together can tell the difference and take a step back to think when it’s best.
Behavioral scientist James R. Langabeer, PhD, EdD, referred to this as a strategic pause, which occurs when someone takes “a deliberate break between stimulus and response that allows judgment, values, and long-term goals to guide action.”
Instead of getting caught up in the pressure of making a decision right away, the most mature people take whatever time they need to know their choice will fit into their carefully curated life.
9. ‘I have an emergency fund for that’
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There’s something special about people who don’t get flustered when they have to pay an unexpected expense because they know they have the means to do so. Everyone will have a medical bill or car repair they didn’t see coming at some point, so it really is good to have an emergency fund, even if it feels like the money could be better used elsewhere.
This is an indication that someone not only has it together, but has also learned how to behave responsibly. Someone who’s less mature might be surprised to hear a friend say this, which shows they’re clearly not thinking in the same way.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
