High IQ People With Zero Emotional Intelligence Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
OlKra | ShutterstockSome people probably assume that having a high IQ automatically means someone is also very emotionally intelligent, but the two don't always go together. Both are important to how we all live and work, but there's no real connection between them.
It's entirely possible to meet someone who is extremely book-smart and logical, but whose interactions with and understanding of other people still fall flat. These people tend to be so caught up in being conventionally intelligent that they often say strange, even insensitive things that show their people skills aren't very good.
Here are the phrases high-IQ people with low emotional intelligence say pretty much all the time:
1. 'Where's the evidence?'
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Really deep, rational thinkers get hung up on the way that processes like the scientific method rely on actual proof, to the point that they become obsessive. They refuse to accept anything that can't be backed by significant evidence, which leads them to see the world in overly black-and-white terms.
The world we live in doesn't provide many definitive answers, which makes it a good thing to be able to go with your gut when there's really no other way to be sure. But this makes really smart people uncomfortable, and they often say things like this that invalidate the way others have learned to trust their own intuition when necessary.
2. 'That doesn't make sense'
People who are highly intelligent are big fans of logic. To them, something just doesn't make sense if it's not logical and if it's not easy to see how someone came to that conclusion.
In reality, an estimated 90 to 95% of decisions are made based on people's emotions, not logic. High-IQ people can't follow that kind of thought process, though, so they try to refute those ideas instead of working to reach someone else's level.
3. 'How you feel doesn't matter if it's not true'
In a world full of more and more misinformation and fake news, many people argue that what is factual and true is the most important thing, and that people's feelings don't really matter by comparison. This is especially true for anyone who's smart but not terribly empathetic.
As much as people who are deeply rooted in rationality might not want to admit it, feelings are actually really important and impact how people learn and solve problems. No human can really make a choice without their emotions being involved in some way. That could skew their perspective, but it also means their feelings do matter.
4. 'You're overreacting right now'
Psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen, PhD, said that "overreactions often have little to do with the immediate situation and more with unresolved personal fears and insecurities." So, if someone is supposedly overreacting, they probably don't have much, if any, control over that.
That won't stop someone with low emotional intelligence from thinking they're being completely over the top, though. Smart folks depend on logic and facts, and when they see someone react to those things in a way that they think is too strong, they'll probably label them as immature, even though they could easily be accused of being the same thing.
5. 'That's actually not true'
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The smartest among us really like being right, and they don't care about hurting other people's feelings to prove that. They might bluntly state that someone's most cherished belief is ridiculous just because they want to put their own intelligence on display.
There are some situations where it totally makes sense to correct someone out of care and concern, but it's just not necessary at other times. But people who refuse to ever validate others in a quest to be right aren't actually helping. They're just showing that they have no emotional literacy at all.
6. 'It's really simple'
Most of us can probably relate to the unfortunate feeling of not understanding something, only for one of the smartest people we know to make us feel even more incompetent by saying that it's a really simple concept that we shouldn't struggle with.
These are the kinds of people who tend to think way too highly of themselves and put others down to deal with their own insecurities. That's obviously not a person who could be described as emotionally intelligent, no matter how brilliant they are.
7. 'Everyone knows that'
Few things are worse than having some kind of special a-ha moment that another person immediately squashes by saying whatever it is you just realized is common knowledge. They don't have the emotional depth to recognize that even if they think it's obvious, it didn't feel that way to you.
Someone who acts this way is really going beyond just being a little too intelligent for their own good and veering into toxic territory. People who hurt others so they can feel better about themselves are not the ones you want to be close to.
8. 'People don't think anymore'
Some smart people act like they're part of a rare and dying breed. They know they're intelligent, and they know that some other people are too, but they see the general population as dumb and uneducated. If someone doesn't think the same way that they do, they assume they just aren't thinking at all.
This could be explained by a cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. This leads people to think they're much smarter than they actually are because they can't recognize what they don't know. In other words, if they don't know something, it's like it doesn't exist.
Obviously, this will seriously distort how that person views reality, even making them think they're the only intelligent person left.
9. 'You're too sensitive about this'
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There are instances where people truly do let their emotions affect their judgment, but there are also times when smart but not understanding people will call others out for being too sensitive because they had the audacity to consider emotions alongside facts.
Interestingly, relationship therapist Ken Page actually thinks that the things others accuse us of being overly sensitive about are "core gifts," meaning that they mean a lot to us and we probably know a lot about them. So, that person calling you out for your sensitivity might actually know less about the topic than you do.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
