11 Reasons Older People Are So Much Calmer & Don't Get Frazzled By Regular Life
shurkin_son | ShutterstockWhile many people fear getting older, worrying about it can actually age you faster. But aging isn't such a bad thing, and comes with incredible benefits like wisdom, empathy, and acceptance of oneself. So, it's likely that these factors are just a few reasons older people are so much calmer and don't get frazzled by regular life. They don't allow anyone to get the best of them and live life by their own rules.
Many older folks tend to have a noticeable steadiness and stability, feeling at ease even when they face everyday struggles or annoyances that tend to bother younger people. But it's just because of their personality; rather, it's the result of spending years navigating challenges, changing their expectations, and figuring out what really matters in life.
Here are 11 reasons older people are so much calmer and don't get frazzled by regular life
1. They've seen it all before
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Older people have experienced betrayal, heartbreak, regret, and everything in between, and having learned a lot along the way, tend to be much calmer and not frazzled by everyday things. Life may not have been easy, but it's been most eye-opening. Through their own experiences, they've mastered the art of keeping their cool. Having been exposed to every ounce of nonsense, they are knowledgeable enough to handle themselves with grace.
As cultural historian Lawrence R. Samuel explained, "The association between wisdom and aging has a basis in biology: as humans get older, the mind further develops, a direct byproduct of simply having living longer and experiencing more things. Older people are usually more proficient than young people in certain dimensions of cognition, particularly those that involve different ways to solve problems, as well as life planning, and making future goals."
2. They have better emotional regulation
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Once upon a time, older people were young and likely had trouble regulating their emotions. But as they've aged, they have become mellow and can keep their emotions in check. In fact, the older people get, the more control they have. As a study published in Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences revealed, the ability to regulate emotions actually improves with age.
They're extremely put together because of this. It isn't just experience; rather, those who are older have a genuine advantage over people whose brains have yet to develop fully. And it gets them quite far in their later years.
3. They know what really matters
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When people are young, it's easy to get caught up in the things that don't matter. So self-absorbed, anxious and overwhelmed, they stress themselves out over small things that don't impact them very much. But for older people, they've learned to look outside of themselves.
Having truly experienced life, they have a good idea of what matters most. From forming social connections to cherishing the people in their lives, they'll never take their blessings for granted. So, while young people are still learning what to prioritize, aging people have more perspective and wisdom they've curated along the way.
4. They focus less on their ego
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When someone is young, they're only exposed to so much. Living in their bubble and only being around certain people, they haven't yet had the chance to open their minds to new people and experiences. However, for older people, they tend to be less focused on their ego and more focused on acceptance, which is why they're much calmer and don't get frazzled by regular life.
Open-minded people know the everyday pain and struggles others go through, and it's made them grateful for the life they have now. Being exposed to true struggle has humbled them, leading them to be a lot more appreciative.
5. They've learned to let go
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No matter how necessary letting go is for development, learning to say goodbye to the people, places and things you once loved is a painful experience. However, the older someone gets, the more they've mastered this skill. Sure, it's difficult, but by letting go they've learned to free themselves.
As positive psychologist Itai Ivtzan said, "Learning to let go of things can be valuable for personal growth and emotional well-being... Letting go is often a process that takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge that it's OK to feel a range of emotions during this journey."
6. They have more patience
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Older people have fully developed brains and bodies, and have experienced almost every situation in life that brings frustration. Whether it's being disrespected or having to wait in a long line, they've grown more patient over time.
Patience is an incredible skill to have, as it can make you more resilient, see the bigger picture, and foster personal growth. So, it makes sense that older individuals are able to let the small things roll off their back.
7. They don't sweat the small stuff
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When someone is young, it's all too easy to get worked up over nothing. Still inexperienced in life, they feel anxious. Unfortunately, anxiety has increased in recent years and has become a quiet epidemic and concern for public health. But where younger people focus on the small stuff, older people don't.
Already highly experienced and confident with themselves, they don't feel anxiety like they may have as a young person. Choosing to go back to basics, they do their best to think through things logically and pull from what they already know, rather than stressing out about it.
8. They understand that their energy is limited
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The older people get, the less energy they have to spare. As health journalist Heidi Godman revealed, "As we get older, we lose energy-producing engines in the cells (mitochondria), and as a result we make less adenosine triphosphate (ATP) — the molecule that delivers energy to cells throughout the body. We also lose muscle mass, resulting in fewer cells, fewer mitochondria, and lower ATP production."
Because of these changes in their energy levels, they remain much calmer and less frazzled, especially after learning the hard lesson that their energy is limited. As much as they'd love to take care of their family and be the one everyone depends on, they've also realized that this isn't always healthy.
9. They value peace over drama
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It's normal not to know how to set strong boundaries when you're young. Still learning about yourself and finding your voice, it takes a while to prioritize your inner peace. Thankfully, older people are so much calmer as they age, choosing their peace of mind over drama that serves no purpose.
Whether that means cutting people off or setting firm boundaries, valuing their own well-being is why they're thriving. As psychologist Rick Hanson explained, "When you're at peace -– when you are engaged with life while also feeling relatively relaxed, calm, and safe — you are protected from stress, your immune system grows stronger, and you become more resilient. Your outlook brightens and you see more opportunities."
10. They accept life's uncertainty
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Life doesn't always go as planned, nor is it meant to. As much as people may try, things fall apart sometimes. But older people who are much calmer and don't get frazzled by regular life have learned to roll with the punches, so to speak. They know certain things are out of their control.
It's a tough pill to swallow, but through learning to accept life's uncertainty, they've let go of their controlling ways. Now allowing life to take its natural course, there's a huge sense of freedom that comes along with that.
11. They've failed enough to no longer fear it
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While failure is important to growing as a person, this doesn't make it any less unpleasant. From experiencing embarrassment to making big mistakes, working through failure isn't a walk in the park, but it's worth it. And that's something older people know very well.
As evolutionary psychologist Nigel Barber suggested, "Never underestimate the magical properties of failure. It increases resilience in the face of unfavorable outcomes and gets the creative juices flowing." So, while they may not like it, they don't run from it. Instead, they learn and carry those experiences with them.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
