You Can Usually Tell Someone’s A Narcissist By How They Drive, According To Research
fast-stock | ShutterstockA lot of people feel like they've met someone before who fits the definition of a narcissist, but narcissistic personality disorder is actually pretty rare.
Still, that doesn't mean there aren't many people who display narcissistic traits like always wanting to appear more important than they truly are. Not everyone who fits this description exhibits abusive behavior, but many can become quite manipulative and aggressive in the most unlikely places, including cars.
A survivor of narcissistic abuse explained what it's like being a passenger in the car with a narcissist.
Narcissistic abuse awareness advocate Kerry McAvoy shared on TikTok how unbelievably scary it was to be in the car when her ex was driving. "There is nothing like being a passenger in the car with a narcissist," she began in her video.
"When I met my ex, I thought he was the safest driver I ever met," she explained. "Actually, I felt irritated by his cautiousness." That quickly changed after they got married, though.
It was at that point that McAvoy's ex became a "terrifying" driver, and being in the car with him meant wondering if she would make it out alive. It got so bad that McAvoy either dissociated or played a game on her phone whenever she had to ride with him so she could ignore everything happening around her.
"I often felt like getting in the car with him was putting my life at stake," she recalled. "He would tailgate, play chicken with other drivers, he would provoke them by slowing down, and they knew he was probably inciting road rage."
McAvoy used this as a way to explain just how all-consuming abuse is. "We often don't talk about how abuse happens in many different forms in these relationships, and it includes things like driving," she said. "Abuse becomes a whole environment that you're breathing. It's like living with carbon monoxide. You're being slowly poisoned."
Research has proven that there is a link between narcissism and aggressive driving.
According to the Association for Psychological Science, researchers from Ohio State University and the University of Luxembourg wanted to see if narcissistic behavior was connected to aggressive driving, which leads to more than 50% of car accidents in the U.S.
DexonDee | Shutterstock
Researchers performed three studies on participants who "showed subclinical levels of narcissism," meaning they had narcissistic traits but hadn't actually been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. They had them complete questionnaires about their driving habits and their opinion of themselves.
Scientists also watched participants in a driving simulation to see how they would react to common, frustrating traffic incidents. The study found that "the more narcissistic drivers are, the more angry and aggressive they reported becoming on the road."
It may come as a surprise to some, but narcissists are known for using cars to their advantage.
Therapy trainer Elinor Greenberg, PhD, who has experience working with narcissists, explained that they regularly start fights when they're in the car, even though it puts themselves and those they claim to care about in danger. Really, there's no captive audience quite like passengers stuck in a moving vehicle.
When arguing with someone in a car, a narcissist will do anything from drive without caring about safety to telling passengers they need to exit the car in an effort to manipulate them. Their reasons for doing so are almost always self-centered, proving just how deeply these traits run.
Estrada Anton | Shutterstock
This behavior, which Greenberg calls "car drama," is pretty typical for narcissists. Her advice was to always focus on staying safe. "Do your best not to escalate the fight, even if you are 100% right," she said. Leaving the car is good, but it's not always possible, so you do sometimes have to play along to minimize the risk you're in.
Clearly, McAvoy's experience was not unique to her. If someone drives aggressively and unsafely, there's a pretty good chance they're a narcissist.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
