If Someone Is Seriously Socially Awkward, They'll Often Say These 11 Phrases In Casual Conversations
Esmaqe | ShutterstockNot everyone who struggles in conversation has social anxiety, but people who are seriously socially awkward often give themselves away through the things they say out loud. Instead of letting conversations flow naturally, they second-guess themselves, apologize for existing, or try to escape the interaction before it gets uncomfortable.
These phrases are usually small attempts to manage uncertainty in casual conversations, especially when someone feels unsure how they're coming across. If you've ever heard these lines repeatedly from the same person, there's a good chance they're feeling more socially awkward than they let on.
If someone is seriously socially awkward, they'll often say these 11 phrases in casual conversations:
1. 'I'm saying all the wrong things'
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A phrase that socially awkward people say when they feel uncomfortable talking to you is, "I'm saying all the wrong things." This statement vocalizes their concern that they're acting awkwardly around the person they're speaking to. Socially awkward people might say this phrase when they doubt they're getting their point across. They might say this in the face of a minor conflict or disagreement, acknowledging they’re struggling to communicate what they mean.
By saying the phrase "I'm saying all the wrong things," socially awkward people express their worry that what they're saying might be misinterpreted. The use of this phrase often indicates low self-confidence, especially when they're trying to share a complex or sensitive opinion.
2. 'Sorry if I'm annoying'
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Another phrase that socially awkward people use when they're second-guessing themselves is "Sorry if I'm annoying," which they say to manage others' expectations. This kind of apology isn't necessarily offered because the person did something wrong; rather, it's an apology made out of fear that they're bothering the person they're talking to. This phrase serves as a way for socially awkward people to apologize for taking up space.
Having a social anxiety disorder can be an underlying reason that someone is socially awkward when talking to other people. Social anxiety disorder typically presents itself in childhood or adolescence. The National Institute of Health noted that an adult with social anxiety disorder is up to 70% likely to have another anxiety disorder alongside their social anxiety.
The NIH made a clear distinction between being shy and having social anxiety, which can impede people's daily functioning. Social anxiety can make it harder for a person to form relationships. Because they don't have many friends, they might not know how to interact in social situations, so they say things like "Sorry if I'm annoying" when a conversation feels uncomfortable.
3. 'Am I being weird?'
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Socially awkward people might also ask whoever they're talking to if they're being weird. This question suggests they feel uncomfortable talking to you and are worried they're making a poor impression.
Social anxiety is the third most common mental health disorder, and 90% of cases develop before people turn 23 years old. Johanna Jarcho, a psychology and neuroscience professor at Temple University, focuses her research on how memory affects the self-perception of young, socially anxious people in social interactions.
"Memory is super malleable," Jarcho explained. "If we can figure out the mechanisms that harness that malleability in a positive way in the context of therapy, this can be another way to treat people with social anxiety."
People often look back on conversations they've had and feel a sense of panic that they came off as weird, but as Jarcho pointed out, misremembering social interactions is common. By asking, "Am I being weird?" a socially awkward person might be attempting to manage the expectations of the person they're talking to. They use this phrase as a self-protective measure: If they call out their weirdness, the other person can't.
4. 'What should we talk about?'
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Something else socially awkward people do when they're unsure how to approach a conversation is ask, "What should we talk about?" A socially awkward person might struggle to engage in small talk, so they wonder aloud what to talk about instead of letting the conversation unfold more naturally. Social anxiety can manifest as physical symptoms, like having a rapid heart rate, becoming short of breath, or having your mind go blank, which might make someone ask what they should talk about.
Someone who experiences social anxiety often struggles to speak up in group settings, but they might also have a hard time with one-on-one conversations. Sometimes, people who had fewer chances to practice social interaction growing up find small talk harder as adults. As a result, they might not know how to let a conversation flow smoothly.
5. 'I hope I'm not bothering you'
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Often, socially awkward people say, "I hope I'm not bothering you," during routine interactions because they're scared to speak up and say what they need. Someone's social anxiety can make everyday routines especially difficult, like setting up appointments over the phone, ordering a meal at a restaurant, or even asking someone for help.
They might couch their fear that they're imposing on someone else's time or energy by saying, "I hope I'm not bothering you," even when saying that isn't at all warranted. Because socially awkward people have difficulty navigating basic interactions, they constantly worry about being "too much" and over-apologize.
6. 'I should stop talking now'
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It's normal for conversations to ebb and flow. There's nothing wrong with going quiet during a conversation, but someone socially awkward might have a more challenging time with extended silence than others. They might try to fill the gaps in conversation with mindless chatter, which can make them feel more awkward than usual. This results in them fumbling over their words and saying they should stop talking.
Socially awkward people say, "I should stop talking now," when they feel uncomfortable talking to you, as a way to catch themselves from saying something they deem unnecessary or embarrassing. They have a heightened fear of saying the wrong thing, which can lead them to stop short or trail off in a conversation, then try to make the silence feel less tense by declaring they're done talking.
7. 'I forgot what I was going to say'
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Someone who has social anxiety often experiences the sensation that their mind goes blank, and they lose the thread of what they were about to say. Socially awkward people say "I forgot what I was going to say" when they're worried they were about to say the wrong thing because their nervousness triggers physiological distress. They might blush, their hands tremble, and they might have trouble making eye contact.
It's not uncommon for socially awkward people to get caught up in the maze of their minds, making it hard to follow the natural flow of a conversation. They're so focused on saying the right thing at the right time that they forget what they planned to say, which makes it harder to hold on to it.
8. 'I don't know how to answer that'
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A phrase that socially awkward people say when they start second-guessing themselves is, "I don't know how to answer that," especially when sharing something vulnerable about themselves. They get nervous that whatever they say will be deemed "wrong," so they hold back from revealing anything. They tell people, "I don't know how to answer that," when they're faced with intimate questions.
Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker, noted that people who have social anxiety often fall into a pattern of criticizing their social skills.
"People with social anxiety spend a lot of time analyzing their social interactions. They replay conversations in their minds over and over, scrutinizing their communication. They exaggerate their flaws and judge themselves harshly," she explained.
Socially awkward people might feel so uncomfortable with certain topics that they avoid sharing their opinions altogether, using the phrase "I don't know how to answer that" to avoid discussing sensitive subjects.
9. 'I'm bad at small talk'
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Socially awkward people will say, "I'm bad at small talk," when a conversation feels tense in any social situation. They might assume that other people always know what to say, especially when making a first impression. Still, the reality is that most people feel nervous in new environments and worry that what they're saying makes them stand out.
As psychologist Nick Wignall revealed, an essential part of boosting your social self-esteem is recognizing that being flawed is a universal human experience.
"Social anxiety breeds very well in an environment of 'feeling different' to others and thinking you're unique. You are not uniquely human, just uniquely you," he explained. "Enjoy the sense of connection that comes with knowing we're all insecure, flawed, and weird."
Insecurity is more common than most people think, so being bad at small talk isn't bad.
10. 'I'm just going to go'
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Socially awkward people say the phrase "I'm just going to go" when they're unsure how they're coming across. It's an abrupt way for them to end a conversation and distance themselves from a situation, which makes them increasingly nervous.
Dr. Richard Heimberg, a psychology professor at Temple University, has spent over twenty years conducting research on social phobias. He's discovered that almost everyone has some degree of fear about social situations.
"Some people just think they are shy, that it's a personality trait, and that's just the way they are," Heimberg explained. "But...if a person starts fearing many social situations, [and as a result] lives alone or drops out of school, that's not shyness, that's an impairment."
When people consistently avoid everyday social interactions because of their innate fear of doing something wrong, they might end the conversation by abruptly declaring, "I'm just going to go."
11. 'This is awkward, isn't it?'
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When someone says this out loud, they're usually trying to release the pressure they're feeling in the moment. Instead of pretending everything feels normal, they name the tension directly because silence feels worse. It's not that they want to make things more uncomfortable; they're hoping the honesty will actually reset the interaction and make it easier to keep talking.
Psychologists sometimes describe this as a form of "social reassurance seeking," in which a person seeks confirmation that the situation isn't as bad as they fear. Research published in the Cureus Journal of Medical Science has shown that people with higher social anxiety tend to check others' reactions more often during conversations to gauge whether they're being judged. Saying "this is awkward, isn't it?" becomes a quick way to test the waters and make sure they're still on safe ground.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and the entertainment industry.
