Teachers Can Almost Always Tell When A Kid’s Parents Really Care About Them Based On 5 Behaviors
EF Stock | ShutterstockTeachers monitor all sorts of behaviors in their students. It's a necessary aspect of the job to ensure their safety and well-being.
However, a part of it that many people overlook is that teachers get an inside scoop on the relationship that their students have with their parents, as well. This is because knowing how a child behaves, either directly or indirectly, reveals a lot about what's going on at home.
As someone with family members and friends who are teachers, I've heard countless stories about the dynamics between a student and their parent. The bond between them is a crucial part of understanding the student and knowing how to help them succeed. That said, there are certain behaviors that let a teacher know their student is in good hands at home.
Teachers say they can almost always tell when a kid’s parents really care about them based on 5 behaviors:
1. The student takes accountability for their actions
When spending nearly every day in the same place with other people, making mistakes as a student is bound to happen. From something minor, like forgetting a calculator, to something more serious, like lashing out at others, there are many instances where students have to face up to their actions. However, how they choose to go about it is very telling.
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According to an article from Boston Moms, it's difficult for parents to teach accountability to kids when "everywhere they look, they see the opposite." But the article goes on to say that that doesn't mean it's impossible. There are clear, actionable steps to take in order to raise responsible, conscientious kids.
It's noticeable when parents take these steps. When a student takes accountability for their actions, it's apparent to the teacher that they're aware their actions have consequences and that that awareness is modeled and encouraged at home.
2. The student talks about their parents
While this might seem obvious, teachers can tell a lot about their students' level of comfort based on what they talk about. There are exceptions, as some students may confide in a trusted adult about their troubles at home involving their parents. Nevertheless, students who mention their parents in a casual tone are often doing it to exhibit their connection to them.
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Even if it's just a short anecdote about grabbing coffee with dad or reading an assigned book that's one of mom's favorites, if there's a distinct fondness when mentioning a parent, teachers can tell that there's a genuine bond between the student and their parents.
3. The student shows empathy for others
Many assume that some people are just naturally more empathetic than others, which couldn't be further from the truth. Stanford psychologist and author Jamil Zaki asserts that empathy is a skill that can be learned and cultivated over time by using it. Exposure to it is one of the main factors in adopting it into one's own toolkit for dealing with others.
Teachers can tell when a parent has shown genuine care for their child based on how empathetic the child behaves towards others. My mother, a teacher for 31 years, said, "If the parent cares for the child, there's a level of empathy that they share with the child that is noticeable at school."
My father, a teacher for 24 years, echoed the same sentiment: "They're polite, care about others, have empathy in front of their peers and one-on-one conversations." Simply put, students mirror the compassionate energy they get from their parents to those at school.
4. The student shows up neat and put together
This is more relevant for younger students, but it's still very telling. Teachers on Reddit have made numerous comments about the difference between seeing a kid who's constantly sleep-deprived, hair unbrushed, bags under their eyes, and wearing dirty clothes, and a kid who comes in looking rather energized and neatly dressed.
Many of the teachers specified that this was not contingent on the family's social class. What matters ultimately is if the parent puts the time and effort into assisting their child in developing an effective morning routine.
My friend Mary, a teacher for kindergarten to 6th grade, said that "physically, cared-for children come to school clean," citing that "...clean hair, body, and teeth are viewed as non-negotiable in the home." If a kid is showing up frequently, not looking their best, it's almost certainly because no one is showing them how to properly care for themselves.
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5. The student brightens up when they see their parent
Most telling of all, how does the student react to seeing their parent? In those brief moments of pickup and drop-off, teachers notice to what degree a student is happy to see their parent.
They don't necessarily need to be jumping for joy (though Teachers of Reddit note how wholesome it is to see), but simply appearing to brighten up is enough to let the teacher know that they're really cared for at home.
Luke Aliga is a writer with a degree in Technical Writing and Communication who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
