After Doing 1,000+ Job Interviews, These Are 7 Things Successful Candidates Always Do
RDNE | PexelsI've conducted more than 1,000 interviews and interrogations. Over time, I learned that rapport building and establishing trust are critical to successful interviewing, whether you’re interviewing or being interviewed. Gaining trust is easy, assuming you’re trustworthy and have plenty of time. But what if you don’t have much time?
What if you’re in a job interview and get ten minutes max with another person? What if you’re a creator or entrepreneur who jumps on a call with a client and gets five minutes to pitch a service and build trust with a stranger? The techniques I list below are the ones I’ve used hundreds of times. Regardless of your role, the methods for establishing trust with other people and getting the job stay the same.
I've done thousands of job interviews, and here are things the most successful candidates always do:
1. Absorb what the interviewer is saying
Notice I didn’t say listen. Take in each word when the other person is talking. You can nod, smile, or do anything else that shows them you’re engaged. This is not the time to check your phone.
Also, make the other person feel heard. As a detective, I’d make sure the person I was talking to knew I wanted to listen to their story, even if they didn’t like me. I didn’t talk over them, correct them, take notes, or interrupt.
I absorbed what they had to say, even if it wasn’t truthful. At that early point in the conversation, the goal wasn’t necessarily to get the truth. The goal was to send the message that I’m here to take in whatever you want to share.
2. Pause before answering
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When the average person engages in a conversation, there's often no gap between when one person finishes talking and the other starts. That’s fine for old friends. But when you speak with someone you don’t know, there's a much better way: When they ask you a question, pause briefly before you answer.
That pause, even if slight, is so important. It sends a message that you're not just blurting out words or giving an answer you’ve already rehearsed. It shows that you're thinking about what was said to you and actively formulating an answer.
3. Slow down the speed of your speaking
Speaking slowly and deliberately has an immediate, positive psychological effect on people. It conveys calm and confidence. We tend to talk fast and in a slightly higher pitch when we are nervous, and when we're nervous, our pitch increases, and we talk faster, too.
If you struggle with slowing down how fast you talk, try focusing on breathing instead — deep breathing helps to naturally relax the mind and body, slowing speech.
4. Successful candidates admit when they don't know something
People often struggle to admit that they don’t know something or have an answer to a question. It’s not uncommon for them to guess or change the subject when that happens. Instead, use that as an opportunity to build trust. Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know something.
You can always say, “I don’t know, but after we talk, I’ll find the answer and get back to you.” That’s an honest answer, and it naturally creates an opportunity to build more trust when you follow through, find the answer, and get back to them. Admitting you don’t have an answer also signals other traits like humility and confidence.
5. Avoid toxic positivity
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The methods you use to build trust are important, but what you choose to avoid is even more crucial. Toxic positivity and people-pleasing tend to destroy credibility.
No one wants to hear “everything will be just fine” when you cannot know the outcome. It’s unreasonable to think another person will agree with you on all topics. Candor and frankness build trust, even if it offends at the moment.
6. Address hard topics
Take advantage of hard topics or tough conversations. Skipping difficult conversations sends the message that if you have to choose between honesty and comfort, you’ll choose comfort. Choosing comfort is self-serving, and self-serving is a death sentence for trust-building. If there's bad news to give, give it.
Delaying bad news or attempting to spin it never works to your benefit. If you don’t see a topic the same way as the other person, acknowledge that difference while seeking to see the issue from the other person’s point of view. You don’t need to agree, but you do need to seek to understand.
7. Successful people ask for the interviewer's thoughts or opinions
Ask for someone else's thoughts. Humans are conditioned to want to help others, although we often don’t like to ask for it. It feels good when someone asks you for something you can quickly provide. The key is that it has to be something simple and fast.
You can do this with anyone. Ask the other person for their thoughts on a problem or their opinion on a solution. The answer doesn’t matter; what matters is the message you sent, and that message is that you trust them.
People are going to judge you, and they’ll do it quickly. You don’t get any say in that. The good news is that you get a say in whether or not they trust you and how quickly that happens. The beauty of all the skills listed here is that they can be practiced daily in conversations.
The ability to rapidly build trust might mean getting the job you're applying for or the promotion you want. If you’re an entrepreneur, it could mean landing a client. People need to trust you to hand you their money for a service. In the end, it’s not just about landing a job or a client — it’s about building a reputation as someone others can rely on.
Joshua Mason is a former police detective and public safety leader turned writer. His weekly stories on Medium are dedicated to change, leadership, and life lessons.
