People Who Learned To Survive Without Anyone's Help Usually Don't Put Up With 8 Things
Dodokat | ShutterstockThere are also a host of struggles that stem from being forced into survival mode without support from friends and family, even if it does ultimately make someone more independent and resilent.
Still, people who have learned to get by on their own don't have patience for certain behaviors, even if they may be healed from the past.
People don't put up with these things when they've learned to survive without anyone's help:
1. Chronic complainers
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Complaining tends to create an unnecessary level of negativity. For someone who's sensitive to it, it can become contagious. So, people used to surviving on their own and dealing with their problems head-on, usually because they had no choice, can't stand being around others who whine about everything.
If they're not taking any action or changing their behavior, it's annoying and triggering. Why would someone who's learned to figure things out on their own spend time with someone who expects their pity and constant support?
2. Dishonesty
For people who spent most of their lives dealing with hardship and forced independence, they've learned how to manage brutal honesty. In fact, they've had to deal with cruelty disguised as honesty, so now, they can't stand liars.
When it feels like someone is trying to protect their feelings by hiding the truth, it's an insult. Everyone around them might be offended by feedback, but they need it to survive.
They're operating from a place of survival all the time, even in adulthood when they have the chance to let their guard down again, and they can't stand being told they're being "protected" to justify dishonesty.
3. Helpless people
Whether it's dependency in relationships or those without common sense, the most independent people can't stand helplessness in any form. The kinds of individuals who make excuses for everything aren't who they're willing to spend time around.
They're not in the business of self-soothing for someone else, especially because they were never taught how, as they were on their own for most of their lives.
4. Empty promises and unreliability
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When someone who's crafted a life of independence asks for support or relies on others, it's a big deal. They have high expectations because they're used to doing everything on their own and being in control. So, unreliability never sits right.
People who don't keep their promises or cancel plans last minute are things they don't put up with. It's evidence that they can't trust people to show up for them, keeping them stuck in a spiral of hyper-independence.
5. Being pressured to explain themselves
People who have made decisions for themselves, often without the support from their parents or families, enter adulthood with a kind of independence that most people don't understand. They might feel a need to prove themselves, but they're more likely to crave independence as a coping mechanism.
Without parents who cared where they were or what they were doing, they never had to explain themselves. Now, in adulthood, being around partners who feel entitled to explanations and strangers who need context to understand is annoying. It feels like an overstep and a personal attack.
6. Someone with a victim mentality
People who need pity from others all the time rely on reassurance from others to feel good about themselves. They can't be self-reliant because they only feel secure when someone else gives them attention, even when it's not the good kind.
They're exactly the kind of people that truly independent folks can't stand. They expect some kind of reassurance from others simply because of hardship. For someone who's spent their whole life surviving and dealing with adversity on their own, they're not in the interest of pitying anyone, especially when they're creating problems for no reason.
7. Wasted time
Because they're stuck in survival mode with nobody else to rely on, truly self-reliant people hate wasting time. In fact, they often don't have the luxury of wasting their time, because they don't have support to fall back on.
In adulthood, indecisiveness and helplessness are all things they refuse to put up with. It puts their own productivity at stake. They hold themselves to incredibly high, sometimes unsustainable standards, as they're used to having nobody else to rely on.
8. Manipulative tactics
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Whether it's gaslighting or guilt-tripping, these kinds of people are incredibly sensitive to manipulation. Usually at the hands of their parents, they've had to grapple with and walk on eggshells during their most impressionable years, creating a sensitivity that not everyone has or understands.
They're not in the business of turning to someone else for help, so they have to defend themselves. That's why spotting these tactics early on and calling people out is second nature.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
