Women Who Have Little Respect For Themselves Usually Say These 11 Phrases Without Even Realizing It
fizkes | ShutterstockWhile having high self-esteem and self-respect can positively influence a person's life, some women have a bit of trouble with it. They may attempt to please others while neglecting their own needs or downplay their achievements to make someone else feel good. But they're only doing themselves a disservice.
Based on the language they use, women who have little respect for themselves usually say certain phrases without even realizing it. They repeat these words without a second thought, and why it may sound harmless and polite, it usually indicates self-doubt and a fear of rejection. And over time, it can create a cycle where they undervalue themselves.
Women who have little respect for themselves usually say these 11 phrases without even realizing it
1. 'It's okay, I probably deserved it'
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When a woman is feeling insecure and doubtful of herself, she doesn't know just how treasured she truly is. She may think she deserves her reality, but that's hardly the case. And it can come off a bit sad if she says it to or around others.
People with low self-esteem can't help but justify their mistreatment. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, while there are many reasons why women feel this way, it all boils down to experiences. Whether it's their upbringing or their partner gaslighting them, they really just need healing.
2. 'Nobody else will deal with me'
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Some women haven't had good experiences in their relationships. Whether it was their mom putting them down or a partner convincing them they weren't good enough, they believe they're too much. And it can affect their future connections.
Having been conditioned to accept this as fact, women who have little respect for themselves use this phrase because they genuinely view this as truth. However, while she can't change her past, she can absolutely make healthier steps moving forward. Because seeking help and understanding is exactly what these women need to develop self-respect.
3. 'I don't want to be a burden'
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While it's necessary at times to depend on others, doing so too much isn't healthy. Feeling vulnerable is an unpleasant sensation, but for women who have been taught that they're burdens, this vulnerability is something they push deep down.
Maybe from a young age, she felt like an outsider and that her presence was a hindrance. She's internalized these feelings. And while many may scoff at her experience and tell her to get over it, childhood trauma never goes away.
As psychotherapist Ditta M. Oliker said, "Regardless of the specifics of any given environment, the experiences of not belonging in childhood have enormous power to affect the quality of life of the adult." This can then lead to low self-esteem and constant self-doubt.
4. 'I don't know how to do anything right'
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There's a point in all our lives where we may feel helpless or useless. Especially when we didn't have control over a situation, harsh self-criticism surely followed. For women who lack self-respect, she's quick to put herself down, even if she has the knowledge or know-how to make it through.
For one reason or another, these women are filled with insecurity that won't go away. And while they may know they need help, they'll always demean themselves and their intelligence.
5. 'I'm not as good as them'
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Not everyone is good at everything. While some people excel in math, others are good at story-building. Despite these differences in talents, everyone is unique and talented in their own way, so self-comparison should never be the default option.
With the rise of social media, it's difficult not to compare yourself to others and let it steal your joy. Unsurprisingly, according to a study published in Behavioral Science, upward self-comparison has a psychological impact on a person's well-being. So, it's not shocking that some women struggle with self-respect.
6. 'I got lucky, that's all'
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Whether it's landing an unexpected internship or coming across money on the street, luck does play a part at times. But just because things go well every so often, it doesn't mean luck is always a deciding factor in a person's life. However, for some women without respect for themselves, they attribute their success to luck.
They diminish their hard work and achievements, and are willing to give up credit to make other people comfortable. And while this learned mindset isn't their fault, if they don't unlearn it, they can easily be taken advantage of.
7. 'Maybe I expect too much'
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Some women were taught to be people-pleasers from a young age, and that their needs always come last. As adults, they convince themselves that their expectations, which are completely normal, are too much.
While some women unlearn this damaging mindset, others cling to it, which is why they constantly utter this phrase. If she truly wants to thrive, learning to raise her standards unapologetically is a must. As hypnotherapist Katherine Agranovich said, "Having high standards for how others treat you is a sign of healthy self-esteem, and it implies clarity about who you are and what you want."
8. 'I'm not special'
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Everyone's special in their own way. While some people roll their eyes at the sentiment, no two people are exactly the same. Whether it's in terms of creativity, intelligence or personality, uniqueness is why we should treasure not only others, but ourselves.
Unfortunately, not all women were raised to view themselves in the same light and developed low self-esteem and self-respect as adults. By telling herself she isn't special, she's discounting all her good qualities and what makes her stand out from the rest.
9. 'This is as good as it gets for me'
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Not all women were given the opportunity to have a good life. From highly critical parents to toxic relationships, they've convinced themselves they'll never do better than what they have now. Unfortunately, that way of thinking is incredibly limiting, and it relates back to the brain.
As psychotherapist Maggie Maher explained, "Our brains run on neurochemical systems that control how we form bonds and seek rewards. In a healthy relationship, these systems work together to create secure attachment. But in a [toxic] relationship, they trap you in a cycle that's nearly impossible to break without conscious effort."
10. 'My opinion doesn't matter'
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When women have little respect for themselves, she may think her opinion has no sway in conversations, even if she doesn't realize she's doing it. Perhaps in her past she was belittled for expressing her ideas or desires, and it's affecting her now as a grown adult.
She doesn't have anyone in her circle who truly values her. Viewing their mistreatment as normal, she internalized their dismissive behavior rather than processing just how harmful and hurtful it is.
11. 'I'm not smart enough for that'
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Demeaning yourself is a huge sign that something is amiss. It might be hard for a woman to do some inner work and look inside herself, but for the people around her, when she uses a phrase like this, they wonder why she thinks so little of herself.
According to clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, "Unlike a conscience, this inner critic doesn't motivate positive or prosocial behavior. Instead, it turns us against ourselves, making us second guess our actions and underestimate our beneficial effect on others... Even when it's not directly advising us to keep to ourselves, our inner critic can blind us to our effect on others simply by keeping our lens focused inward."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
