You Can Usually Tell Someone Is A Huge Complainer By 10 Phrases They Say In Casual Conversation
Ekaterina Byuksel / ShutterstockWe all know someone who sees the worst in everything. Always unhappy and never satisfied, you can't have even the most casual conversation without them complaining about something.
As they go on and on about their family or their frustrating job, being around these people can be utterly exhausting. Without realizing it, their negative energy rubs off on everyone around them, causing even simple conversations to turn sour. Utterly self-centered and oblivious, they push boundaries until even their closest friends have no more energy left to give.
You can usually tell someone is a huge complainer by 10 phrases they say in casual conversation
1. ‘Why does this always happen to me?’
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Life won't always work out as you expect. One minute you can be flying high, and the next it feels like everything is crashing and burning. This natural cycle doesn't spare anyone. However, while most people realize this, a huge complainer always thinks they're the exception.
Entirely self-centered and negative, those who chronically complain will almost always say, "Why does this always happen to me?" Refusing to learn from their own experience, they believe they're the ultimate victim. This isn't great, as Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., an adjunct faculty member at the University of Utah School of Medicine, said, "A growth mindset transforms mistakes into opportunities for learning and progress."
Without realizing it, chronic complainers hurt themselves and their ability to grow, causing them to become the worst version of themselves.
2. ‘Nothing ever goes my way’
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If someone is a chronic complainer, don't expect them to see life through rose colored glasses. Always seeing the worst in things, they say in casual conversation, "Nothing ever goes my way."
It can feel ego-crushing when life doesn't go the way you expected. After putting in so much work, the last thing you want to experience is failure after failure. Hearing far too many no's in life, only those with thick skin and a victor mentality choose to make the most of it.
3. ‘Life is so hard’
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Nobody wants to live life on hard mode. If they could have it their way, they'd get everything they want while putting in minimal effort. From getting that promotion to getting into their dream school, we all dream of being handed everything without giving much in return.
Unfortunately, real life doesn't always work out that way. As psychotherapist William Berry, LMHC, CAP, said, "Life is hard at times. Everyone experiences hardship, grief, and pain. There can be no argument otherwise. Some experience more hardship than others in this unjust world."
That being said, chronic complainers don't care about common sense. Too focused on how they feel, they constantly say, "Life is so hard."
4. ‘What’s the point in trying anyway?’
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It's normal for life to get you down once in a blue moon. Putting in so much work but getting very little in return, it's no wonder that huge complainers say, "What's the point in trying anyway?" They've already done everything in their power to succeed and make things work out.
Putting in a ton of hours and giving their all, these people complain because they feel stagnant in life. However, while their feelings may be valid, always focusing on the negative won't get chronic complainers very far. Stunting their own growth and focus, they need to redirect their thoughts. Otherwise, they may get stuck in a never-ending vicious cycle.
5. ‘It’s always something’
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It can feel overwhelming when life keeps messing everything up for them. Never able to catch a breather and always on their toes, chronic stress can bring out the worst in us. According to psychiatrist Dr. Mark Rybakov, "Chronic stress can drain your emotional resources, leaving you reactive and short-tempered."
This is probably why huge comapliners say, "It's always something." Losing their cool and feeling on edge, they can't help but vent out their emotions. Given their need for an emotional outlet, it isn't shocking that they'd take it out on those closest to them. When someone is already at their wits' end, it becomes much harder for them to see clearly.
6. ‘I knew this would happen’
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Huge complainers are always looking for a way to confirm their biases. Needing to be right in a world that always feels unexpected and chaotic, people can tell how much someone complains if they say, "I knew this would happen," during casual conversation.
Nobody can predict what will happen in life. While we can do everything in our power to make the most of the present, the future has a way of giving us plot twists after plot twists. Huge complainers don't understand that. Too focused on their own self-loathing, they jump on the opportunity to be right, not because they want to be, but because they have learned to always expect the worst.
7. ‘What else could go wrong?’
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There's nothing more frustrating than everything falling apart at the same time. Spending so much time trying to get it right, unfortunate events happening at the same time have a way of driving the best people insane. Even so, we all do our best to make the most of it.
Choosing to focus on what's productive, only those who invest their energy in the present weather the storms. As Patricia Harteneck, PhD, explained, "Repetitive negative thinking keeps us stuck in worries and doomsday scenarios, creating an inner chaos that builds upon itself."
Unfortunately, chronic complainers don't think the same way as more positive people do. Feeling defeated and looking to vent their frustration, they often say, "What else could go wrong?"
8. ‘I can’t catch a break’
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Feeling like everything is closing in on you is never a good thing. Extremely exhausted and isolated, it's normal for the mind to wander to the worst thoughts. It isn't a crime to think negatively, but when people stay in that space on a consistent basis, it can become a problem.
When they choose to play the victim instead of snapping out of it, it's no surprise that huge complainers say, "I can't catch a break." Feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to process their emotions, they take their feelings out during casual conversations, leaving everyone around them uncomfortable.
9. 'This always happens to me’
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Even the strongest people in the world can crash out when life keeps testing them. Always on the receiving end of bad luck, saying, "This always happens to me," every blue moon isn't a crime. Unfortunately, chronic complainers take it too far, which is probably why they say this phrase constantly.
Believing they're always victims of misfortune, they can't understand that this is a season of their lives. This isn't surprising, as the American Brain Foundation explained, "Negative experiences often feel more psychologically intense than positive ones, even if they carry equal emotional weight."
Still, it's important that these individuals find a way to manage their stress. It isn't easy, but by grounding themselves, they not only improve their mental health but also their relationships with others.
10. ‘I’m so sick and tired of this’
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Finally, the last phrase huge complainers use in casual conversation is, "I'm so sick and tired of this." It can be hard to learn how to deal with stress. Feeling overwhelmed and without an outlet, most people exhaust themselves when they don't know how to manage their stress properly.
Believing that the best way to do so is by ranting, chronic complainers stunt their own growth and lean into more negativity. From always uttering this phrase to groaning and complaining, you can tell how much someone complains by how long they choose to fixate on what they cannot change.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
