11 Awkward Text Messages That Mean A Longtime Friend Is Trying To Phase You Out Of Their Life
TetianaKtv / ShutterstockIn an ideal world, true friends would always be there for you. Regardless of how busy they get or how many arguments you get into, a genuine friendship will remain consistent and supportive, no matter what.
Unfortunately, some friendships don't turn out the way we expect. Sometimes, one person will decide they are no longer interested in remaining close and will start doing things they believe will help phase the other person out of their life. This might mean they don't answer when you call, or they may cancel plans you thought both of you were excited about. And when it comes to texting, a longtime friend who is hoping to cut you off will often send awkward texts that quietly hint at their effort to distance themselves from you.
These are 11 awkward text messages that mean a longtime friend is trying to phase you out of their life
1. 'Sorry, I've been super busy'
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Sure, everyone gets busy from time to time. From work keeping them occupied to family keeping them busy, it's normal not to text back for a few hours. That being said, people often use the excuse of being busy when what they are really trying to do is phase someone out of their life.
It doesn't matter how busy someone gets. When a person truly cares for you, they'll make time for you, not just because it's important, but because it literally determines how successful the friendship is.
Still, if someone doesn't want you in their life, no amount of research will convince them otherwise. Already done with the friendship, but not having the guts to say otherwise, those who use being too busy as an excuse don't value you as much as they say they do. Especially if they do it often, it may be time to reevaluate your friendship.
2. 'Maybe some other time'
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True friends are always going to be eager to spend time with you. Hating the idea of missing time with their favorite person, they're never going to end by saying, "Maybe some other time," unless they're distancing themselves from the friendship.
They may call you dramatic for saying so, but words matter. If someone truly wants to spend time with you but can't, you'll feel it when they respond to you. Putting a dozen sad emojis and exclamation points, you'll be able to tell how genuine they are.
However, when a friend is done with you, expect to feel their dry messages from a mile away.
3. One-word replies
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Most people are extremely busy these days, and they may not always have the time to type out a thoughtful message. It's normal to get a dry text here and there. Ranging from 'lol' to 'wow,' there's no need to take it personally if it happens once in a blue moon.
That being said, when someone is done with you officially, don't be surprised if they always give you one-word replies. Not wanting to spend time with you longer than necessary, they always do the bare minimum. Hoping you'd get it, but when you refuse to be honest, it's easy to feel disrespected.
Feeling disrespected can lead to increased aggression. So, when all else fails, try having an upfront conversation. It may not go well, but it'll give you the closure you need to move on.
4. 'I forgot to reply, my bad'
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We all forget to reply to texts every once in a while. However, when you care about your friendship, you text each other often enough that the occasional missed response is no big deal. Never wanting them to feel excluded or disrespected, you put in the work when you truly care.
Unfortunately, when someone is done with you, the last thing they want to do is work hard. Not really wanting to talk to you but feeling forced to, they'll make a flimsy excuse such as, "I forgot to reply, my bad."
Showing zero sympathy or regret, you'll feel their distance, whether they meant for you to or not. And while you can call them out on it, if they're committed to phasing you out, there's not much you can do.
5. 'I'll let you know soon'
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This may sound like a valid message. If you don't know the details about something, it makes sense to wait until you do. However, while this may sound good on paper, when a long-term friend is planning to phase you out, they'll often say, "I'll let you know soon."
Stalling for a better excuse or not wanting to put in the work to find out, they refuse to clear their calendar or make time for you. Taking the easy way out, they'll never give you a direct answer.
When someone lies or keeps you running around in circles, it's easy to feel frustrated and disrespected. That being said, "It's not your role, nor would you be able if you tried, to change or mold your friend into someone else who is more likeable," said psychologist Irene S Levine, Ph.D.
So, while it's tempting to try your best to fix things, it's better to let it go. The right people will always make time for you and be upfront. Even if they're busy, they'll never leave you hanging, unless they're truly done with you.
6. 'I'm really bad at texting'
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Not everyone is a great texter. While they do their best to communicate and be there for you, they aren't always on their phone all day. Needing time to detach, it's normal to sometimes get a few messages from them throughout the day.
That being said, when someone is done with you, they won't bother texting you. Dodging phone calls and pretending not to see your messages, you may hear them say, "I'm really bad at texting."
However, even if that is the case, being bad at texting doesn't excuse being a bad friend. Despite their busy schedule, every relationship needs to be nurtured. So, if they aren't nurturing it, this is a sign they're phasing you out of their life.
7. 'I've just been focused on other things'
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Texting friends isn't always going to be someone's main priority. While they'd love nothing more than to have gossip sessions for hours on end, sometimes, all they can give you is designated days and times to catch up.
Worried about kids and work, the difference between a flaky friend and a good one is communication. Telling you exactly what's going on and updating you beforehand, a good friend will make you feel reassured.
As licensed marriage and family therapist John Amodeo, Ph.D., LMFT, said, "Seeking reassurance is a healthy expression of our need for positive contact, validation, and mirroring." That being said, flaky friends don't care about your comfort.
8. 'Work's been hectic'
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One minute you're living life on easy mode, the next you have a bunch of tasks due in the coming weeks. Work has a way of being unpredictable. When it gets draining and stressful, it's normal to need time to concentrate. Even so, good friends always communicate that beforehand.
Never wanting to leave room for misunderstandings, someone in this position who is a good friend would usually rather overshare than leave you hanging. That being said, when a friend is trying to phrase you out, expect them to say, "Work's been hectic" as an excuse to dodge your calls or pleas for hangouts.
9. 'I don't have time for this right now'
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There comes a point at which even the kindest, most patient people can't take it anymore. Worried sick and left feeling highly insecure, you may ask where you stand with someone. It isn't easy. Especially when vulnerability is so hard, as it requires us to let our guard down and show people our true selves.
However, in the hands of a true friend, it can foster greater closeness. Feeling connected and reassured, vulnerability only works when the other person is willing to meet you halfway there. Yet those who aren't will often say, "I don't have time for this right now."
Brushing you off completely, you'll know it's over when they act like your feelings don't even exist to them.
10. 'I just need some space'
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There's no denying that everyone needs space from time to time. Feeling overwhelmed and burned out from the everyday bustle of life, taking some time for oneself isn't out of the ordinary. However, if they're being dodgy already and then follow up with this, it could be a sign they're phasing you out.
It's hard not to assume the worst when they make it so hard not to. Refusing to message you, they'll give you vague answers and then completely ghost you. Not giving you a timeline, they'll utter this phrase and then dip into the unforeseeable future.
Is it a horrible thing to do without reassuring your friends first? Of course. Do they actually care? No, not really.
11. 'I'm keeping things private right now'
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The last awkward message you'll get when a long-term friend is trying to phase you out of their life is, "I'm keeping things private right now." True friends rarely hold their tongue. Trusting one another, there's not much they hide from each other. From who they're dating to the recent family drama, only those who don't consider you close say this.
As professor of psychology, Mary McNaughton-Cassill, Ph.D., said, "Sharing with others promotes social bonds and personal well-being."
So, if they aren't willing to share and are always vague with you, it's better to prepare yourself for the worst. They'll never tell you how they feel, but nine times out of ten, they're slowly distancing themselves from you.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
