Smart People With A Good Sense Of Humor Almost Always Have The Same Experience In Common
Miljan Zivkovic | ShutterstockPeople often develop their sense of humor from a young age. Maybe they watched funny television shows and movies, or were inspired by funny people in their lives. While humor is learned over time, not everyone expands theirs with happy moments.
In fact, their preference for a specific type of amusement is often a result of unique experiences in childhood. Because while it's a lighthearted personality trait, it likely comes from an unhappy place.
People with a good sense of humor were often raised by sad parents
Podcaster Jamie Laing explored how kids raised with sad parents tend to develop a good sense of humor as a result of their experience. Laing invited author and philosopher Alain De Botton on his podcast, The Great Company, to discuss how a childhood without joy can impact the personality of an individual.
Having a good sense of humor is a positive attribute, of course, but it's really just a rebellion against the sadness of their youth.
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De Botton simply explained, "People who are very funny often grew up in circumstances that were not funny at all... The wit of a child is there to ward off the parent's depression."
Children with parents who were depressed honed their comedic skills from an early age to combat the sorrow that surrounded their upbringing. It was likely a coping mechanism to deal with their unhappy reality.
Laing recalled British comedian Jimmy Carr famously saying, "People always ask me if I'm depressed because I'm a comedian. But, really, you should be asking me if my parents were depressed." And while it's meant to be a joke, Carr's comedic material was taken from real life, as is the case for many funny adults.
When someone has a depressed parent, they're more likely to suffer from that same disorder as adults.
As research associate Vicky Powell explained in her study, the risk of psychiatric disorders, especially mood and anxiety disorders, is increased in young people who have a depressed parent.
So, not only from a genetic standpoint are children more likely to adopt the mental health disorders of their parents, but their coping mechanisms are almost always affected by this behavior.
One child could use laughter and jokes as a coping mechanism for uncomfortable feelings while also ignoring their depressive symptoms or mood swings. In the same moment, they can actively ward off uncomfortable emotions, just like those of their parents, and ignore similar ones in themselves.
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Our parents and childhoods greatly influence who we are and how we cope, as well as our perception of the world. Even more broadly, our childhood experiences affect us in adulthood much more than we realize.
From our health to our communication skills, every part of our upbringing can impact who we become.
Children often overcompensate for an unhappy home life that includes having depressed or sad parents.
These children take on the role of "entertainer" in an effort to bring joy to the people they care about the most. While it may be hard to come to terms with as an adult, our childhoods hold the secrets of why we behave the way we do as adults. It's exactly why so many people find it so vulnerable to navigate their inner child work and therapy.
We're desperately trying to cling to the autonomy of adulthood instead of healing from our past. But just like people with this shared experience can find humor in things that aren't so light, accepting the reality of what happened allows them to move on and heal.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
