When Someone Is Seriously Losing Themselves, You'll Notice These 11 Pretty Obvious Signs
PinkCoffee Studio | ShutterstockWhen a person close to you is struggling, you don't always realize it right away. Perhaps they're hiding the way they feel or you simply aren't looking for any signs of distress. But after some time, when someone is seriously losing themselves, you'll notice some pretty obvious signs that indicate they're far from okay.
Of course, the American Psychological Association warns that there are undeniable indicators that someone is experiencing a mental health risk, like social withdrawal and uncharacteristic anxiety, but sometimes, it goes a bit deeper than that. Because you know this person extremely well, it's important to extend a helping hand, even if your pleas go ignored at first.
When someone is seriously losing themselves, you'll notice these 11 pretty obvious signs
1. They're emotionally numb
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When someone is going through it and losing themselves, they aren't feeling things the way they normally do. Caught up in their grief or sadness, their emotions become so intense that they eventually become exhausted, leading to feeling emotionally numb.
According to psychotherapist Sean Grover, "When you can’t feel your emotions, you’re likely to be in a dissociative state. This frequently occurs when people are overwhelmed, and the body switches to survival mode, resulting in numbness or blankness."
2. They isolate themselves
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Whether it's true or not, believing that you have nobody to lean on is one of the reasons why people isolate themselves. You'll know someone is struggling when they pull back from their close relationships and hide themselves away. From never answering texts to barely seeing them, they disappear from your life.
Thinking that they no longer care for you, it's tempting to give them the same treatment they're giving you. However, regardless of how you feel, check in on them. They may not be a good friend at the moment, but it's likely they're going through something personal and don't know how to ask for help.
3. They don't enjoy the things they once cared for
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Everyone has something that brings them joy in life, whether it's playing video games or spending time with family. These small moments make life worth living, but when someone is struggling with their emotional or mental health, they're completely detached and don't care for the things they once enjoyed.
While this may seem random, it can indicate a deeper problem. According to psychologist Susan Albers, emotional numbness is a defense mechanism meant to protect people. "Sometimes, people describe it as being in a heavy fog. You're still functioning but not feeling. That lack of emotion can be distressing," she explained.
4. They've lost a sense of purpose
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When someone is beaming with joy, there's nothing that can stand in their way. Full of hope, others can tell when they're finding themselves. By doing what they feel called to pursue, people who are authentically themselves experience greater happiness and well-being.
On the flip side, people who are seriously losing themselves no longer feel a sense of purpose in their lives. Completely lost and dejected, they spend most of their time dreading everything, rather than embracing it. No longer fulfilled, their sense of well-being hits a new low.
5. They don't prioritize self-care
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Happy people always find a way to take care of themselves, putting their self-care first and making it a daily routine. They might even wake up extra early to make breakfast or meditate. It may be a pain to some people, but for them, but it makes a huge difference in how they see themselves.
Unfortunately, those who are struggling don't tend to prioritize their well-being. No longer connected to who they are, they don't feel inspired to take care of themselves. They may lack energy and care, and their mental health will only continue to deteriorate the longer they push their needs to the side.
6. They're highly self-critical
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In a world that demands perfection, learning to appreciate who you are can become difficult over time. For those who are sure of themselves, they're able to brush aside their own self-doubt. However, for those who are struggling and losing themselves, they tend to be highly self-critical.
Feeling dejected and embarrassed of who they are is a tough pill to swallow. As much as they'd love to brush it off, negativity has a way of sticking with us, and this self-critical nature can spiral into a higher risk of depression and approaching problems in an avoidant way.
7. They stop talking about the future
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Most people can't help but yearn for the future. Whether it's buying their first home or landing their dream job, these milestones are always in their mind. However, when someone is losing themselves and having a hard time coping with their current life, you'll notice just how much they avoid talking about what's to come.
Unfortunately, this can be quite a negative thing. According to a study published in the Journal of Marketing Research, when people regularly think about the future, they tend to make better decisions in the here and now, whether it's something big like saving up money or adopting more healthy habits.
8. They've lost the ability to stay present
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When someone is losing themselves and feeling down, they're constantly distracted by anxiety and what ifs. They simply can't stay present, even if everyone around them is having fun. Whether something beautiful happened that day or they've won the jackpot, they seem detached.
People who are struggling can't help but lose focus. From zoning out to daydreaming during important moments, it may feel like nothing can get them to snap back in place. And while you'd love nothing more than to help, you know that true change comes from within, not from another person.
9. They lack motivation to do basic tasks
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While it may not be indicative of depression, when someone is losing themselves, they may feel hopeless and uninspired. They no longer have the motivation to do basic things, like keeping up with their hygiene or perhaps even getting out of bed.
While it may feel frustrating, according to research published in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, when someone is experiencing a lack of motivation as a result of depression, it's because the brain calculates a lower "expected value of control," which is the idea that your brain constantly estimates whether it's worth spending mental effort on something.
10. They always assume the worst
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It's hard for someone to be positive when so many negative thoughts are swirling around in their head. Filled with insecurity and self-doubt, they assume the worst and immediately jump to catastrophic thinking. They don't want to sit there and think about how everything can go wrong in their lives, but it's just where they are mentally.
In an ideal world, they could trust that everything would work out as it should. Unfortunately, real life isn't as kind. Always full of twists and turns, snapping out of this mentality takes professional help more often than not.
11. They're constantly exhausted
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When someone is losing themselves, even if they've gotten a full night's rest, it won't change a thing because they're still exhausted. No amount of energy drinks or naps will help. They're always tired and on edge, and can never seem to find the energy to live normally.
As clinical psychologist Dr. Karin Gepp explained, "Both mental and emotional exhaustion can leave you feeling detached, unmotivated, apathetic, and trapped. The challenges you’re facing might seem impossible to overcome, and you might feel too drained to keep trying."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology.
